My family has been heavily involved in both these youth organizations in Malaysia. My dad served as the National President of the Boys' Brigade for a number of years when I was growing up. I enjoyed getting to know a lot of the people serving in these ministries and meeting many, many people from around the world through them.
Due to manpower issues, there came a time when the Girls' Wing of the BBM was established. I will not delve into all the details because it would be very long and my accounts might be inaccurate as I was only 15 then. I remained a member of the Girls' Brigade. I never desired to move up the ranks there as I found the assignments I had to complete redundant and irrelevant to my interests and development. I had no desire to earn my Pioneer Pin. How does discipline and character building not descend into religiosity? That is such a fine line we have to walk.
Everyone has their two cents on issues like this, but lately, I've pondered it more and more. Since I've been involved in mentoring young people especially women, I do see ministry in a different light now. I am not so concerned about the activities than the purposes and goals. I've had to lead a small campus ministry under great opposition. There was no man who would take the job. The pastors who commissioned me said to me, "You know both the price of obedience to this task and the price of disobedience. Both are high prices, one might cost you your job, the other will cost you much more."
I believe that the Lord allows persecution to rise against us so we really lean on me and discern His voice for every move. I prayed for a man who could help me with mentoring some of the young men, and He provided two adult men who were sensitive to the Holy Spirit. I learned a lot from the young people I mentored. They saw me in my difficult days too and upheld me in prayer. They also held me to the responsibility of leadership, since they were present when the command was given by the Lord publicly.
I also learned that in true ministry started and sustained by the Holy Spirit, the religious spirit will attack vehemently. My pastor mentors were not surprised when I told them that my integrity was being questioned and I was slandered by quite a few people. I studied Rick Joyner's Epic Battles of the End Times and John Paul Jackson's Unmasking the Jezebelic Spirit. The battles I was facing were clearly detailed in those two books. When you are judged by what you say, what you do, how you look, etc, you know you are coming under that attack. There were accusations that I was twisting the word, manipulating and controlling my students through the bible studies. Colleagues at school rose against me too from other matters, but it had all been made known to me by the Lord that it will happen.
How do you know that you are acting in accordance to His will? I didn't miss a single devotion, day and night. If something happened during the day, I spent time with Him at lunch too. There was not a time He didn't speak clearly through His word. Every battle plan, every tactical move, every ministry decision, the Lord made it clear what I was to do or say. I surrounded myself with people who also had different prophetic giftings. I had one who could see spiritual things, I had one who could feel and sense, there were worshippers on my team and I could hear and see in dreams. We functioned together. God would never contradict Himself.
He promised a great revival and breakthrough. I thought perhaps He meant a lot of people, but no, He only gave me a group of 12 students. I was happy with that number. Jesus only had 12, so it was plenty for me. There was breakthrough and great revival in the students' lives. All of them. We saw that promise come to pass. I see them serving in different areas of ministry now, two years from that time.
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
IHOP-KC English - Chinese Songs
Just wanted to post the links to some songs done by the Merchant Band, Misty Edwards and Ryan Kondo, which have Chinese translation. Some of the links will take you to the IHOP-KC website. A few of the lyrics will be linked to my public files.
This is for those who know some Chinese but not enough to find all these lyrics on their own. Happy singing and praising the Lord with these!
http://www.ihopchinese.org/content/ihop-kc-lyrics
全所有/All in All by: Marcus Meier
全然歸祢/Come and Let Your Presence by: Tim Reimherr
恩典和榮耀/Grace and Glory by: Marcus Meier
等不及/I Can't Wait by: Tim Reimherr
與祢相戀/I'm in Love by: Tim Reimherr
我深愛你/I'm So in Love by: Marcus Meier
勝於塵土/More Than Ashes by: Tim Reimherr
我的榮耀/My Glory by: Tim Reimherr
誓言/Pledge by: Marcus Meier
感謝祢/Thank You by: Marcus Meier
高臺/Tower by: Marcus Meier
祢已奪我心/You've Won My Heart by:Tim Reimherr
裂天而降/Rend by: Misty Edwards
榮耀和權能/Glory and Dominion.doc by: Ryan Kondo
祢配得全所有/Worthy of It All by David Brymer
This is for those who know some Chinese but not enough to find all these lyrics on their own. Happy singing and praising the Lord with these!
http://www.ihopchinese.org/content/ihop-kc-lyrics
全所有/All in All by: Marcus Meier
全然歸祢/Come and Let Your Presence by: Tim Reimherr
恩典和榮耀/Grace and Glory by: Marcus Meier
等不及/I Can't Wait by: Tim Reimherr
與祢相戀/I'm in Love by: Tim Reimherr
我深愛你/I'm So in Love by: Marcus Meier
勝於塵土/More Than Ashes by: Tim Reimherr
我的榮耀/My Glory by: Tim Reimherr
誓言/Pledge by: Marcus Meier
感謝祢/Thank You by: Marcus Meier
高臺/Tower by: Marcus Meier
祢已奪我心/You've Won My Heart by:Tim Reimherr
裂天而降/Rend by: Misty Edwards
榮耀和權能/Glory and Dominion.doc by: Ryan Kondo
祢配得全所有/Worthy of It All by David Brymer
Monday, August 20, 2012
God is a Matchmaker - The Plot Thickens
11. Nov 28 - One of the gals we took shopping calls me and asks to
borrow my house & kitchen to cook lunch for Patrick on Dec 4. How
could I say no to that request? (One of the prophetic words was that
some guy would come to my house and want to fix it, and it would drive
me insane, cos I can't get rid of this person. I had been avoiding
throwing parties.) So I said yes even though Dec 3 was the day of the
ball. My house needed work and
much cleaning. I had not finished unpacking since I moved. I said yes to
her and immediately hired two of my students to come over to clean and
decorate for Christmas, might as well. We tried to play hide and seek a
lot, notice the word "tried." We covered up a hole in the wall!
12. Dec 3 - Sure enough .. there was the first party at my house and Patrick counts off all the things which need fixing. !! I was told to watch out for someone who would come to my house and see the state of disrepair it is in. This person would want to fix it. I'd get pretty flustered with this person and can't get rid of him. It can't be him, really?
The ball was awesome. No other guy asked me to dance and he was really surprised. He had to explain to some people we weren't a dating couple but strictly dance partners only. Great. I thought yay, I can be myself and I'm off the hook. For the first time in a long time, I felt secure with a man. I felt like a thousand bucks and something precious to be cared for. I didn't mind feeling like a trophy, led on and off the dance floor. Esther might have found her king.
I speak with a friend who can see from the Lord. He said he saw me in a red dress. I said that I did wear a red dress to the ball. He asked if it was sparkly. I said that it wasn't really sparkly but I had a silver scarf, wrap. He said okay. He also saw two lights, a red and a green light, and the red light was glowing. He said in Air Force terms, the red light is given before they are to jump out of the plane. It meant they were near the drop zone or right over it, and anytime the green would come on, and it meant JUMP. Uh oh.
I post a couple pics on Facebook of the ball. My friend called me back. He said that wasn't the dress he saw. So he asked whether I had another red dress, with some black and gold, almost an Oriental design. I said, "Umm yes, err.. I have such a dress but it's for my wedding. You just described my Chinese wedding gown." UH OH.
13. Dec 5 - We go to the Sunday School party and I'm plugged into a church. Awesome! We spend the whole day together and have spent every Sunday 8am-9pm together since.
14. Dec 11 - We go to the OKC Nutcracker show. It's sold out but we get two free tickets. Lord's favor! Patrick steps into my world of concerts. :)
15. Dec - I go to Alabama. He sends me to the airport. Takes care of my An-An and my car. An-An loves him and becomes his lap cat. An-An gets her training to live with a guy. We get closer cos he was concerned that I was slightly depressed. Deer meat and other goodies start appearing in my freezer/fridge. Dec 28, I had a chance to share what had happened in my past before. We drive around to look at Christmas lights, something I haven't done in 8 years. We attend a New Year's Eve dance together.
Right before I left for AL, I brought the wedding dress over to my friend's house. He laughs. He had seen it before.. Yes, the Spirit showed him.I confirmed it.
16. Jan - Dance lessons and church. Nothing unusual. We plan to go visit IHOP-KC together.
17. Feb 3-5 - First weekend we went up to IHOP-KC. He got sick and I ended up missing the Friday service to stay with him. I didn't want to leave with his car, in case, he needed to get medicine or food. We sit on the loveseat couch (not touching) and watched the service on my iPad. Yes, there was some tension there ... I wasn't totally ignorant.
He gets three prophetic words, very interesting. Whatever was said to him just confirmed things I had already noticed. The Lord holds him in high regard and heaven keeps a close eye on him. The apt we rented was interesting. The only way to get to the bathroom was through the master bedroom which would be his! You get the humor in this.What was God trying to say or train me for?
12. Dec 3 - Sure enough .. there was the first party at my house and Patrick counts off all the things which need fixing. !! I was told to watch out for someone who would come to my house and see the state of disrepair it is in. This person would want to fix it. I'd get pretty flustered with this person and can't get rid of him. It can't be him, really?
The ball was awesome. No other guy asked me to dance and he was really surprised. He had to explain to some people we weren't a dating couple but strictly dance partners only. Great. I thought yay, I can be myself and I'm off the hook. For the first time in a long time, I felt secure with a man. I felt like a thousand bucks and something precious to be cared for. I didn't mind feeling like a trophy, led on and off the dance floor. Esther might have found her king.
I speak with a friend who can see from the Lord. He said he saw me in a red dress. I said that I did wear a red dress to the ball. He asked if it was sparkly. I said that it wasn't really sparkly but I had a silver scarf, wrap. He said okay. He also saw two lights, a red and a green light, and the red light was glowing. He said in Air Force terms, the red light is given before they are to jump out of the plane. It meant they were near the drop zone or right over it, and anytime the green would come on, and it meant JUMP. Uh oh.
I post a couple pics on Facebook of the ball. My friend called me back. He said that wasn't the dress he saw. So he asked whether I had another red dress, with some black and gold, almost an Oriental design. I said, "Umm yes, err.. I have such a dress but it's for my wedding. You just described my Chinese wedding gown." UH OH.
13. Dec 5 - We go to the Sunday School party and I'm plugged into a church. Awesome! We spend the whole day together and have spent every Sunday 8am-9pm together since.
14. Dec 11 - We go to the OKC Nutcracker show. It's sold out but we get two free tickets. Lord's favor! Patrick steps into my world of concerts. :)
15. Dec - I go to Alabama. He sends me to the airport. Takes care of my An-An and my car. An-An loves him and becomes his lap cat. An-An gets her training to live with a guy. We get closer cos he was concerned that I was slightly depressed. Deer meat and other goodies start appearing in my freezer/fridge. Dec 28, I had a chance to share what had happened in my past before. We drive around to look at Christmas lights, something I haven't done in 8 years. We attend a New Year's Eve dance together.
Right before I left for AL, I brought the wedding dress over to my friend's house. He laughs. He had seen it before.. Yes, the Spirit showed him.I confirmed it.
16. Jan - Dance lessons and church. Nothing unusual. We plan to go visit IHOP-KC together.
17. Feb 3-5 - First weekend we went up to IHOP-KC. He got sick and I ended up missing the Friday service to stay with him. I didn't want to leave with his car, in case, he needed to get medicine or food. We sit on the loveseat couch (not touching) and watched the service on my iPad. Yes, there was some tension there ... I wasn't totally ignorant.
He gets three prophetic words, very interesting. Whatever was said to him just confirmed things I had already noticed. The Lord holds him in high regard and heaven keeps a close eye on him. The apt we rented was interesting. The only way to get to the bathroom was through the master bedroom which would be his! You get the humor in this.What was God trying to say or train me for?
God is a Matchmaker - How I Met My Husband
I am my beloved's and He is mine.. Song of Songs. God is a matchmaker and author of the best fairy tales. If not for dreams, prophetic words and encounters, we would have missed each other. The Lord had told me that my story would be a combination of Ruth's and Esther's. It would be so unbelievable that our children will not believe it. Here is a the rundown of events as they happened.
----
My left shoulder had been bothering me severely for the past year. At the last piano recital I played, I was told that God wasn't going to supernaturally heal it this time and I had to go see a doctor. I hated to have to spend money. I avoided the doctor's office for a month until I got tired of having to take students the Social Security Office in OKC. Right before going to the doctor, on September 26 - I had a dream in which the Lord told me to watch out for 2 men about 6 ft tall, had something to do with the Air Force. I saw my orthopedic on Sept 30 and he was around 6'4". No big deal with the shoulder, tendonitis he said. A steroid shot and 4 weeks of physical therapy.
1. Oct 28 - My last orthopedic appt and the doc clears my shoulder. I went ballroom dancing to celebrate that night. It was a costume dance so I had a mask on. Met someone there who was an excellent dancer. He didn't ask for my contact info so I just figured well, see him at another dance. I had a blast! Nobody could figure out who I was.
2. Oct 30 - I went to Council Road Baptist church. I told my friend that there's one date I won't turn down, if a guy came and asked me out to ballroom. Won't care who or what he is, just want to go dancing.
3. Oct 31 - I was teaching at 10:00 am. Someone walks up to the music building, my classroom to look for me. It is Patrick. I guess with only my name and workplace, it was the only way to find me. He wanted to let me know all the regular ballroom dances in OKC. So awkward to have it all play out in front of 6 students.
4. Nov 1 - I get an email from Patrick asking me to a formal ball on Dec 4. He said to call him to let him know. I did lots of checking on him and yes, he is in the Air Force.
5. Nov 2 - I accept the invitation so long as I could practice. I found out that there would be lots of prominent people of OKC at the ball. He suggests I go to church with him or check out Council Rd Baptist. HAH!
6. Nov - we figure out a few practices and I find out during our first practice that he takes care of international students at his church. He was wanting to do something for them at Thanksgiving. I told him I used to host lots of parties for that and would be willing to help.
7. Nov 13 - I visit the intl student ministry with him.
8. Nov 18-22 - I was in Scottsdale AZ for a meeting. That was where he was stationed before in the Air Force. Had email or calls everyday from him. One in particular bugging me to go Black Friday shopping with the students and him. While I was at the meeting, part of a dream came to pass. I had dreamt I went in search of a bagpiper playing Amazing Grace. When I found the piper in the dream, the music was coming from a wedding. The Westin had a piper every evening at 5:00 pm. Yes, I went in search of the piper and as soon as I found her, she played Amazing Grace. As the meeting ended the next day, I left the conference center to the strains of Amazing Grace again.
On the last day, I was here I distinctly heard the Lord question me. "Where are you?" I replied, "Scottsdale, Arizona."
"Yes, but where are you?"
"Arizona."
"What is Arizona?"
"The desert"
"Also known as?"
"The wilderness" As soon as I said that, I heard Jon Thurlow's song lyrics repeat over and over. It goes - "I know the end of the story, I come up from the wilderness, leaning on my beloved's" Something is happening, but I don't know what.
9. Nov 25 - We spend 12 hrs chaperoning 4 girls shopping. We co-ordinate our outfits for the ball.
10. Nov 27 - I went to Council Rd Baptist and figured I was never going to plug in into that church cos I didn't know anyone. Wanted to call Patrick after church to let him know I would go to church with him next Sunday. He beat me to it. Called and said, "You are coming to church with me next week. We are going to the intl Sunday School party after church. I already told them you will be there. What food can we bring?" Very funny invitation, more like an order.
"I need my dance partner there. I promised them we would show them a couple of moves." WOW! I never promised anything but boy, this person is insistent.
----
My left shoulder had been bothering me severely for the past year. At the last piano recital I played, I was told that God wasn't going to supernaturally heal it this time and I had to go see a doctor. I hated to have to spend money. I avoided the doctor's office for a month until I got tired of having to take students the Social Security Office in OKC. Right before going to the doctor, on September 26 - I had a dream in which the Lord told me to watch out for 2 men about 6 ft tall, had something to do with the Air Force. I saw my orthopedic on Sept 30 and he was around 6'4". No big deal with the shoulder, tendonitis he said. A steroid shot and 4 weeks of physical therapy.
1. Oct 28 - My last orthopedic appt and the doc clears my shoulder. I went ballroom dancing to celebrate that night. It was a costume dance so I had a mask on. Met someone there who was an excellent dancer. He didn't ask for my contact info so I just figured well, see him at another dance. I had a blast! Nobody could figure out who I was.
2. Oct 30 - I went to Council Road Baptist church. I told my friend that there's one date I won't turn down, if a guy came and asked me out to ballroom. Won't care who or what he is, just want to go dancing.
3. Oct 31 - I was teaching at 10:00 am. Someone walks up to the music building, my classroom to look for me. It is Patrick. I guess with only my name and workplace, it was the only way to find me. He wanted to let me know all the regular ballroom dances in OKC. So awkward to have it all play out in front of 6 students.
4. Nov 1 - I get an email from Patrick asking me to a formal ball on Dec 4. He said to call him to let him know. I did lots of checking on him and yes, he is in the Air Force.
5. Nov 2 - I accept the invitation so long as I could practice. I found out that there would be lots of prominent people of OKC at the ball. He suggests I go to church with him or check out Council Rd Baptist. HAH!
6. Nov - we figure out a few practices and I find out during our first practice that he takes care of international students at his church. He was wanting to do something for them at Thanksgiving. I told him I used to host lots of parties for that and would be willing to help.
7. Nov 13 - I visit the intl student ministry with him.
8. Nov 18-22 - I was in Scottsdale AZ for a meeting. That was where he was stationed before in the Air Force. Had email or calls everyday from him. One in particular bugging me to go Black Friday shopping with the students and him. While I was at the meeting, part of a dream came to pass. I had dreamt I went in search of a bagpiper playing Amazing Grace. When I found the piper in the dream, the music was coming from a wedding. The Westin had a piper every evening at 5:00 pm. Yes, I went in search of the piper and as soon as I found her, she played Amazing Grace. As the meeting ended the next day, I left the conference center to the strains of Amazing Grace again.
On the last day, I was here I distinctly heard the Lord question me. "Where are you?" I replied, "Scottsdale, Arizona."
"Yes, but where are you?"
"Arizona."
"What is Arizona?"
"The desert"
"Also known as?"
"The wilderness" As soon as I said that, I heard Jon Thurlow's song lyrics repeat over and over. It goes - "I know the end of the story, I come up from the wilderness, leaning on my beloved's" Something is happening, but I don't know what.
9. Nov 25 - We spend 12 hrs chaperoning 4 girls shopping. We co-ordinate our outfits for the ball.
10. Nov 27 - I went to Council Rd Baptist and figured I was never going to plug in into that church cos I didn't know anyone. Wanted to call Patrick after church to let him know I would go to church with him next Sunday. He beat me to it. Called and said, "You are coming to church with me next week. We are going to the intl Sunday School party after church. I already told them you will be there. What food can we bring?" Very funny invitation, more like an order.
"I need my dance partner there. I promised them we would show them a couple of moves." WOW! I never promised anything but boy, this person is insistent.
God is Faithful
My ministry would lead me straight to my husband .. yes, it did happen. So much has happened that there is almost no way to write everything down in a sitting. Check out my other blog for the story.
Friday, November 5, 2010
My Weekend at IHOP-KC (Day 2 - Evening)
It would be my first time in the auditorium that I've watched on tv for months. I had been following the IHOP-Awakening services on tv and have been very blessed from the teaching and testimonies there. I didn't know that you had to get there very early to get a seat in there. It was pretty full by the time we got there and it was a little difficult to find a seat. I believe the Lord placed me where He wanted me to be that evening.
I didn't feel the need to go forward for prayer because I believe that the Lord had delivered me from my affliction the night before. I just need to believe in faith that it is done. As I was standing and praying in worship, I get a tap on my shoulder from a young lady. She said she felt the Lord was telling her to tell me a verse and some words. She had her bible open to Matthew 13:8 - "But others fell on good ground and yielded a crop: some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty." She said the Lord also wanted her to tell me that I am good ground and I am a good seed. She said, "I don't know who you are, where you are in your walk and how long you have been a Christian but the Lord says someone planted good seed in you and you are good ground. That seed is growing because you are good ground." So she said she felt that she was also to pray for me and we prayed together.
After the prayer, I asked to read the verse myself again and my eyes fell on Matthew 13:9 - "He who has ears to hear, let him hear!" As soon I read that, I pointed at it and said, "This verse is truly for me." And she said, "I was about to tell you that." Whoa, Lord. My mind is blown. I don't know how to process this. I questioned the second prophetic minister but now it is truly been confirmed.
Several other people prayed for me as I admitted to battling afflictions for a long time. Then there was a call for those who were struggling with fear to raise their hands. I did. I have been going to work with fear everyday since August. I was in great fear that I would lose my job or that things at work would become unbearable.
The Lord had a lot to say in this matter and two young ladies came to pray for me. Wow, what prophetic prayers they were praying. They were expressing the thoughts in my heart that I was not brave enough to pray out loud for.
After they finished praying, one of them told me she heard the Lord speaking to her clearly, "I hear this repeatedly - "I am Your husband. I am Your husband." The Lord is saying that over and over again. As my husband, it is His duty and delight to defend you and protect you. He will provide for you. The Lord says He has heard your prayers, and pleading and He sees the cry of your heart. He will answer all your prayers and all the things you have pleaded for. He will fulfill them for you. He will take you to new heights and do new things for you. I see a boldness in you to preach the gospel. You need confidence, not a confidence in yourself but a confidence in the Lord, secure in His love."
"The Lord says you have ears and you do hear Him."
WOW. Okay Lord, if you say one more thing, I'm going to blow up because my capacity fuse has just been blown. Can I really take anymore of this love? I had no way of processing all this. There are no words to describe what I felt or was thinking. Indescribable, incomprehensible, all-consuming God. Everything I heard from random strangers today all pointed me back to Him.
God truly loves ME. I've known it in my head but today I know it in my heart. I sleep well this night and wonder what more could happen the next day.
I didn't feel the need to go forward for prayer because I believe that the Lord had delivered me from my affliction the night before. I just need to believe in faith that it is done. As I was standing and praying in worship, I get a tap on my shoulder from a young lady. She said she felt the Lord was telling her to tell me a verse and some words. She had her bible open to Matthew 13:8 - "But others fell on good ground and yielded a crop: some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty." She said the Lord also wanted her to tell me that I am good ground and I am a good seed. She said, "I don't know who you are, where you are in your walk and how long you have been a Christian but the Lord says someone planted good seed in you and you are good ground. That seed is growing because you are good ground." So she said she felt that she was also to pray for me and we prayed together.
After the prayer, I asked to read the verse myself again and my eyes fell on Matthew 13:9 - "He who has ears to hear, let him hear!" As soon I read that, I pointed at it and said, "This verse is truly for me." And she said, "I was about to tell you that." Whoa, Lord. My mind is blown. I don't know how to process this. I questioned the second prophetic minister but now it is truly been confirmed.
Several other people prayed for me as I admitted to battling afflictions for a long time. Then there was a call for those who were struggling with fear to raise their hands. I did. I have been going to work with fear everyday since August. I was in great fear that I would lose my job or that things at work would become unbearable.
The Lord had a lot to say in this matter and two young ladies came to pray for me. Wow, what prophetic prayers they were praying. They were expressing the thoughts in my heart that I was not brave enough to pray out loud for.
After they finished praying, one of them told me she heard the Lord speaking to her clearly, "I hear this repeatedly - "I am Your husband. I am Your husband." The Lord is saying that over and over again. As my husband, it is His duty and delight to defend you and protect you. He will provide for you. The Lord says He has heard your prayers, and pleading and He sees the cry of your heart. He will answer all your prayers and all the things you have pleaded for. He will fulfill them for you. He will take you to new heights and do new things for you. I see a boldness in you to preach the gospel. You need confidence, not a confidence in yourself but a confidence in the Lord, secure in His love."
"The Lord says you have ears and you do hear Him."
WOW. Okay Lord, if you say one more thing, I'm going to blow up because my capacity fuse has just been blown. Can I really take anymore of this love? I had no way of processing all this. There are no words to describe what I felt or was thinking. Indescribable, incomprehensible, all-consuming God. Everything I heard from random strangers today all pointed me back to Him.
God truly loves ME. I've known it in my head but today I know it in my heart. I sleep well this night and wonder what more could happen the next day.
My Weekend at IHOP-KC (Day 2 - Daytime)
When the love of God chases you down, there is no other response but to cry. I didn't bother to put any makeup on on Friday because I knew the deep wounds of my heart were exposed and things were raw and sensitive. It would not take much to cry this day. You're taught to expect to hear from God and expect things from Him when you go on a retreat. God was more than prepared for me as well. He knew why I was there and it was Him that was drawing me unto Himself. There was one thing that I accidentally left at home - my watch, but I'm glad because the Lord planned everything then.
Today is the official start of my weekend with IHOP. I went and registered, got my wrist band and went to the first session. The speaker was Eddie and he would speak on the basis for day and night prayer. The opening of the session was enough to answer some of my pressing questions. He asked for anyone who is in a leadership role to identify themselves. I did. He mentioned a scenario that shouldn't be happening during our conversations with God. As leaders, we represent God on earth. We are His mouthpiece, His hands and we act as one.
"What if God was like this: "Did you think I wanted you to preach that? Use that bible verse? Did you think I wanted to heal that person? Did I want you to pray? etc." It would be a terrible way to live." Yes, that's how I thought about God.
"On the other hand, what if your conversation is like this: "God, did you want me to preach that? Should I have used that bible verse? Should I have laid hands and prayed for that person? Did you want to heal that person?" It would also be pretty terrible to live this way." WOW. This has how my prayer life has been and these hit home quickly. I started crying again cos those were such lies because God does not question me like that and He has entrusted me with His word.
The rest of the session I remained pretty much introverted and I was not very social that day. There was a lot on my heart and mind. I had to grab a hold of the truth, if not, I'd burn out in the ministry. After lunch, there was another session and it would be followed by our scheduled time in the prophecy rooms.
Usually, I would be very open to hearing prophetic words but with so much on my heart and mind, and also thinking that I had been making so many mistakes, I was feeling like a bad student about to receive a report card. We were ministered to in groups of three by two people. I had the prophetic words recorded this time because I knew I would need to hear it again for it to sink in. There was a chance I'd be too teary to listen carefully.
The first person gave me Psalm 63:3 "Thy lovingkindness is better than life." She said she saw that I was painting bright colors - red for the fire of God, green for the life of God and blue for the Spirit of Truth. She said I was also dancing and the Lord said He was going to give me a new dance. I will leap like a gazelle on mountains like in the Song of Songs. I will leap to new heights. She also said the Lord said I was a good servant and He is pleased, very pleased with all the things I have done. He sees and He says it's a job well-done, I have done well in the workforce. He is very pleased with me. Needless to say, the tears just start flowing. I can't stop them.
The second person gave me another verse that I don't remember now. She said the Lord said I'm in a season where He is dealing with a lot of heart issues with me. He is preparing me for the next level and is preparing me to be His bride. The Lord said I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, taking up my cross every day and dying to self. He said I'm like a seed which had to be put in the ground, broken so that something new will come out. She said she saw a flower coming out from the ground. This second one was a little hard to believe. I asked the Lord for confirmation on this one.
I've been cornered three times at it's only 4 pm. There will be more to come that evening during the healing service. I'm glad I recorded the words because I needed to hear them again later that evening.
Today is the official start of my weekend with IHOP. I went and registered, got my wrist band and went to the first session. The speaker was Eddie and he would speak on the basis for day and night prayer. The opening of the session was enough to answer some of my pressing questions. He asked for anyone who is in a leadership role to identify themselves. I did. He mentioned a scenario that shouldn't be happening during our conversations with God. As leaders, we represent God on earth. We are His mouthpiece, His hands and we act as one.
"What if God was like this: "Did you think I wanted you to preach that? Use that bible verse? Did you think I wanted to heal that person? Did I want you to pray? etc." It would be a terrible way to live." Yes, that's how I thought about God.
"On the other hand, what if your conversation is like this: "God, did you want me to preach that? Should I have used that bible verse? Should I have laid hands and prayed for that person? Did you want to heal that person?" It would also be pretty terrible to live this way." WOW. This has how my prayer life has been and these hit home quickly. I started crying again cos those were such lies because God does not question me like that and He has entrusted me with His word.
The rest of the session I remained pretty much introverted and I was not very social that day. There was a lot on my heart and mind. I had to grab a hold of the truth, if not, I'd burn out in the ministry. After lunch, there was another session and it would be followed by our scheduled time in the prophecy rooms.
Usually, I would be very open to hearing prophetic words but with so much on my heart and mind, and also thinking that I had been making so many mistakes, I was feeling like a bad student about to receive a report card. We were ministered to in groups of three by two people. I had the prophetic words recorded this time because I knew I would need to hear it again for it to sink in. There was a chance I'd be too teary to listen carefully.
The first person gave me Psalm 63:3 "Thy lovingkindness is better than life." She said she saw that I was painting bright colors - red for the fire of God, green for the life of God and blue for the Spirit of Truth. She said I was also dancing and the Lord said He was going to give me a new dance. I will leap like a gazelle on mountains like in the Song of Songs. I will leap to new heights. She also said the Lord said I was a good servant and He is pleased, very pleased with all the things I have done. He sees and He says it's a job well-done, I have done well in the workforce. He is very pleased with me. Needless to say, the tears just start flowing. I can't stop them.
The second person gave me another verse that I don't remember now. She said the Lord said I'm in a season where He is dealing with a lot of heart issues with me. He is preparing me for the next level and is preparing me to be His bride. The Lord said I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, taking up my cross every day and dying to self. He said I'm like a seed which had to be put in the ground, broken so that something new will come out. She said she saw a flower coming out from the ground. This second one was a little hard to believe. I asked the Lord for confirmation on this one.
I've been cornered three times at it's only 4 pm. There will be more to come that evening during the healing service. I'm glad I recorded the words because I needed to hear them again later that evening.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
My experience at IHOP-KC (Day 1)
I signed up for a weekend at the International House of Prayer - Kansas City so that I could spend my fall break with the Lord. I made this decision in mid-September before the bluegrass festival, making myself hang on until late October so I could be recharged. I also happened to find inexpensive accommodation for the weekend at a bed and breakfast for only $30 a night. The Lord planned the whole weekend out! He even prepared me through my own sermons for all of it.
I packed really light for this trip and took only the essentials knowing I'd rather spend time with the Lord and people. I stopped by in Baldwin City to see my college roommate and had a quick dinner with her before heading to the bed & breakfast. I arrived at around 8:00 pm. There was another guest in the B&B, Stephanie.
We started chatting and getting to know each other, and she felt that we should start praying. It didn't take a long time for the Holy Spirit to start taking care of things for me. When she started praying for me, things began to be revealed. I never mentioned how big my struggle was with depression. She saw that it was very deep, dark depression and suicidal thoughts were there too. We reached a block and something wouldn't break. That was just a symptom of a greater problem - perfectionism, which in itself was a symptom of the root cause. When the root cause was revealed, the floodgates wouldn't be held back any longer. There were things that happened in the past which caused me to be so trapped. Needless to say, there was a lot of crying that evening. The host of B&B, Bonnie also came and joined us in prayer. She asked me to envision Jesus being with me during those times when I really felt abandoned.
I remembered the Lord asking me whether I needed a hug from Him to make me feel better. I definitely needed lots of hugs and rocking that evening. I was very glad for the prayers and for the huge weight to be lifted away from my body. It was time to deal with the issues that keep me bound. After that, we went to the Prayer Room and spent a little time soaking in the presence of the Lord. It had been a long time since I felt His love and comfort.
I had a fitful night sleeping as I knew a huge battle was being fought for my freedom. The process of emotional healing is very painful itself and very exhausting to the physical body. I did wake up in time for my actual registered weekend at IHOP to begin.
I packed really light for this trip and took only the essentials knowing I'd rather spend time with the Lord and people. I stopped by in Baldwin City to see my college roommate and had a quick dinner with her before heading to the bed & breakfast. I arrived at around 8:00 pm. There was another guest in the B&B, Stephanie.
We started chatting and getting to know each other, and she felt that we should start praying. It didn't take a long time for the Holy Spirit to start taking care of things for me. When she started praying for me, things began to be revealed. I never mentioned how big my struggle was with depression. She saw that it was very deep, dark depression and suicidal thoughts were there too. We reached a block and something wouldn't break. That was just a symptom of a greater problem - perfectionism, which in itself was a symptom of the root cause. When the root cause was revealed, the floodgates wouldn't be held back any longer. There were things that happened in the past which caused me to be so trapped. Needless to say, there was a lot of crying that evening. The host of B&B, Bonnie also came and joined us in prayer. She asked me to envision Jesus being with me during those times when I really felt abandoned.
I remembered the Lord asking me whether I needed a hug from Him to make me feel better. I definitely needed lots of hugs and rocking that evening. I was very glad for the prayers and for the huge weight to be lifted away from my body. It was time to deal with the issues that keep me bound. After that, we went to the Prayer Room and spent a little time soaking in the presence of the Lord. It had been a long time since I felt His love and comfort.
I had a fitful night sleeping as I knew a huge battle was being fought for my freedom. The process of emotional healing is very painful itself and very exhausting to the physical body. I did wake up in time for my actual registered weekend at IHOP to begin.
CCF - Oct 25 Sermon for me
The next morning it seemed that everything I had preached at First Christian Church I couldn't do. I was so angry on Monday morning and everything upset me for no apparent reason that I could understand. I asked the Lord, "Why am I so angry? What is making me so upset?"
At noon, I heard a distinct voice asking very nicely, "Does someone need a hug from me today? I think someone feels very threatened today and feels like her territory is being constantly invaded. She doesn't realize that her job belongs to me."
Whoa, what a kind rebuke. I knew that moment that the solution to my anger was to press close to the Lord and just to let myself rest in His love. Interesting thing is that the sermon for CCF that evening was "Significant, Secure and Accepted."
Yes, again the sermon was for me. I was honest and open with the students as to what went on that morning. How the Lord really spoke to me that I was very angry and upset because I didn't know I was significant in His eyes. I wasn't secure in His love and I didn't know I was already accepted. I was trying to gain my security and acceptance from my colleagues and students, which doesn't always work. We got together in small groups to discuss what were the hardest things for us to accept from God.
For the second time, God was preparing me for the weekend ahead. He did give me a physical "hug" that evening after CCF. I got to eat dinner for free at the local Chinese restaurant and also take home the sushi from the bar. That relieved me of cooking the next day which would be busy with the choir concert. Acts of service and gifts - my love languages. Awesome!
At noon, I heard a distinct voice asking very nicely, "Does someone need a hug from me today? I think someone feels very threatened today and feels like her territory is being constantly invaded. She doesn't realize that her job belongs to me."
Whoa, what a kind rebuke. I knew that moment that the solution to my anger was to press close to the Lord and just to let myself rest in His love. Interesting thing is that the sermon for CCF that evening was "Significant, Secure and Accepted."
Yes, again the sermon was for me. I was honest and open with the students as to what went on that morning. How the Lord really spoke to me that I was very angry and upset because I didn't know I was significant in His eyes. I wasn't secure in His love and I didn't know I was already accepted. I was trying to gain my security and acceptance from my colleagues and students, which doesn't always work. We got together in small groups to discuss what were the hardest things for us to accept from God.
For the second time, God was preparing me for the weekend ahead. He did give me a physical "hug" that evening after CCF. I got to eat dinner for free at the local Chinese restaurant and also take home the sushi from the bar. That relieved me of cooking the next day which would be busy with the choir concert. Acts of service and gifts - my love languages. Awesome!
Sermon Opportunities - First Christian Church
"God will open doors for you to preach and nobody will be able to shut them."
I found out that it also means that even I cannot shut them. I want to be found faithful and obedient to the Lord but sometimes it is so discouraging that I just want to return my calling. I felt badly enough one night and was ready to quit. The next morning I received an invitation to fill the pulpit at First Christian Church Winfield for Oct 24. I couldn't have said no to them. I used to work for them and this was a great opportunity to go back to minister to them. I said yes without thinking too much about it.
I did preach that Sunday on "Dying to Self, Looking to Jesus." In my short training to preach, I noticed that all the sermons were meant for me. They were direct lessons for me and preaching them to others was secondary. I didn't know how close to home this would get.
I found out that it also means that even I cannot shut them. I want to be found faithful and obedient to the Lord but sometimes it is so discouraging that I just want to return my calling. I felt badly enough one night and was ready to quit. The next morning I received an invitation to fill the pulpit at First Christian Church Winfield for Oct 24. I couldn't have said no to them. I used to work for them and this was a great opportunity to go back to minister to them. I said yes without thinking too much about it.
I did preach that Sunday on "Dying to Self, Looking to Jesus." In my short training to preach, I noticed that all the sermons were meant for me. They were direct lessons for me and preaching them to others was secondary. I didn't know how close to home this would get.
Monday, Oct 11
CCF officially moved into the Band Room Galle Johnson 205. We had an amazing service even though we have a small group. The Drama Team performed and 5 people responded to the altar call. God is bringing us the hurting and the ones struggling. That is the ministry. The wall is completed, now the actual work begins. Praise the Lord.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
A Bride
What a journey from May! I can't even begin to imagine the roller coaster but here are the new revelations and lessons:
1. Jesus calls us to be His bride:
He calls us to an intimate relationship with Him. Without such a relationship, nothing will be birthed (yes, we know this on earth, don't we?). We all get spiritually pregnant with the fruits of the Holy Spirit. He gives us gifts for our enjoyment. I've felt that I've been in labor for CCF for months now. Only a beloved warrior will fight. It is only the love of God that sustains His bride. The love of God is displayed in many facets - giving His righteousness, justification, purification, gifts and anointings of the Holy Spirit, power & authority etc. There's so much - read your bible and you'll find out for yourself! My puny brain cannot even begin to fathom.
2. Knowing Him in His suffering:
We learn to share in His suffering. The words of the song "Knowing You Jesus (All I Once Held Dear)" are becoming more and more real to me. When I am slandered, gossiped and lied about, it is persecution for His word. When my mistakes or those of others affect me, I know He hurts because of our suffering. Studying the Song of Solomon has been more than comforting for me as I walk through this season. I don't accept that God is the author of the suffering but He is the Deliverer and He loves me so much that He will and has released everything I need to overcome. Amen!
1. Jesus calls us to be His bride:
He calls us to an intimate relationship with Him. Without such a relationship, nothing will be birthed (yes, we know this on earth, don't we?). We all get spiritually pregnant with the fruits of the Holy Spirit. He gives us gifts for our enjoyment. I've felt that I've been in labor for CCF for months now. Only a beloved warrior will fight. It is only the love of God that sustains His bride. The love of God is displayed in many facets - giving His righteousness, justification, purification, gifts and anointings of the Holy Spirit, power & authority etc. There's so much - read your bible and you'll find out for yourself! My puny brain cannot even begin to fathom.
2. Knowing Him in His suffering:
We learn to share in His suffering. The words of the song "Knowing You Jesus (All I Once Held Dear)" are becoming more and more real to me. When I am slandered, gossiped and lied about, it is persecution for His word. When my mistakes or those of others affect me, I know He hurts because of our suffering. Studying the Song of Solomon has been more than comforting for me as I walk through this season. I don't accept that God is the author of the suffering but He is the Deliverer and He loves me so much that He will and has released everything I need to overcome. Amen!
Waiting for THE Thunderstorm
At the revival services last week, I received a few more words for this season. I am waiting for a life partner. I would be lying if I said that the wait is getting easier. Moving into ministry like this alone is difficult and I've been asking God to send me helpers & ministry partners. The Lord has been sending me friends to encourage me along the way in this wait. I managed to get together with a few friends from Alabama two weekends ago and they shared this. "A woman gives birth, a man doesn't. In your case, you have to birth your ministry and it is not his job. It is your job but he will come along and be the husband - to protect and guard."
I didn't go forward for prayer to ask for a husband this round because I know it is already done but God knows the heart. Even without voicing this, Pastor Hansie Steyn called me out twice concerning this, that he was praying for a husband to come along and exhorting me to keep waiting. God uses people to speak into our lives. Before you think, "hmm I thought this is about the campus ministry," I need to tell you that I know for a fact that my marriage and ministry will go hand-in-hand. It is my battle to wait for the right partner to not jeopardize that which God has called me (and us) to do.
While praying and interceding for the campus ministry, I had three snapshots of Cowley College that I saw and sensed an urgency. I saw Cowley in the bright sunlight, with a beautiful blue sky over it - a normal day, nothing unusual. Then, the next snapshot was Cowley with storm clouds covering it until there was only some light left in the horizon. This was not a scary storm but one Kansans would love to watch. The last vision was with the storm clouds again but this time, above the clouds was the brightest light, the glory of the Lord. After seeing this, I started praying, "Lord, break, break, break those clouds! Come down, let your glory fall and rain, start raining. Send your rain, rain, rain!" Praise the Lord!
I am standing and believing in His promise that He has given me the land under my feet. I listened to "Taking Your Land" on GodTV the other night. Something struck me there - Christians need to learn to take authority. The devil doesn't fear a Christian who just knows his position, the Word etc but one who knows and is willing to act on what he knows and will take authority. I'm learning to take spiritual authority over the campus when I pray for the campus, not begging God. God already wants to send His glory and revival on campus. He wants to more than I do, or all of us on campus combined. He just needs people who are willing to command and be His voice on campus. What a humbling experience! I ask, "Why me?" but the Lord always answers, "Why not you?". To that, I have no answer other than, "You called me because of your Son!"
I didn't go forward for prayer to ask for a husband this round because I know it is already done but God knows the heart. Even without voicing this, Pastor Hansie Steyn called me out twice concerning this, that he was praying for a husband to come along and exhorting me to keep waiting. God uses people to speak into our lives. Before you think, "hmm I thought this is about the campus ministry," I need to tell you that I know for a fact that my marriage and ministry will go hand-in-hand. It is my battle to wait for the right partner to not jeopardize that which God has called me (and us) to do.
While praying and interceding for the campus ministry, I had three snapshots of Cowley College that I saw and sensed an urgency. I saw Cowley in the bright sunlight, with a beautiful blue sky over it - a normal day, nothing unusual. Then, the next snapshot was Cowley with storm clouds covering it until there was only some light left in the horizon. This was not a scary storm but one Kansans would love to watch. The last vision was with the storm clouds again but this time, above the clouds was the brightest light, the glory of the Lord. After seeing this, I started praying, "Lord, break, break, break those clouds! Come down, let your glory fall and rain, start raining. Send your rain, rain, rain!" Praise the Lord!
I am standing and believing in His promise that He has given me the land under my feet. I listened to "Taking Your Land" on GodTV the other night. Something struck me there - Christians need to learn to take authority. The devil doesn't fear a Christian who just knows his position, the Word etc but one who knows and is willing to act on what he knows and will take authority. I'm learning to take spiritual authority over the campus when I pray for the campus, not begging God. God already wants to send His glory and revival on campus. He wants to more than I do, or all of us on campus combined. He just needs people who are willing to command and be His voice on campus. What a humbling experience! I ask, "Why me?" but the Lord always answers, "Why not you?". To that, I have no answer other than, "You called me because of your Son!"
Preaching - The Oil of Joy
I thought giving sermons would be difficult, getting the timing and knowing how much to say and such. While preparing for the weekly sermons, I realized that first the message was for me. I take Wednesday night as my prep night and that gives me (and the Lord) a few days to let the message minister to me over and over. God would convict me of the lies I have believed and the truths that I was going to proclaim. I found out that deciding how much to talk about and how to teach the subject wasn't that hard after many years of lesson planning.
I have been reading both Bondage Breaker by Neil Anderson and The Pleasures of a Loving God by Mike Bickle. I want to give my students who God says He is and who He says we are. Without teaching the truth, there will never be a change. We are studying the many characteristics of God - as a Bridegroom and as a Father. I preached on the God of gladness and studied on the oil of joy.
I had a dream last week about the oil of joy. I dreamed I was taking a spa vacation. I had a long soak in a bath tub and after that, the attendant said it was time for my oil of joy treatment. Oil was poured over me from the top of my head and it ran down my body to my feet. Following this, I stepped out of the shower into the room and praise music was coming from the tv. A voice asked me, "So what is the perfect response to the oil of joy?" I didn't even have to think to answer, "Dance!" I started dancing in that room.
Now, if I could really do this in a worship service at school, I would. Once a keyboard player is raised up, I would be able to. For now, I'll dance in my heart and spirit. I heard someone say this, your level of willingness to dance is a reflection of how free you realize you are. I'm free!
I have been reading both Bondage Breaker by Neil Anderson and The Pleasures of a Loving God by Mike Bickle. I want to give my students who God says He is and who He says we are. Without teaching the truth, there will never be a change. We are studying the many characteristics of God - as a Bridegroom and as a Father. I preached on the God of gladness and studied on the oil of joy.
I had a dream last week about the oil of joy. I dreamed I was taking a spa vacation. I had a long soak in a bath tub and after that, the attendant said it was time for my oil of joy treatment. Oil was poured over me from the top of my head and it ran down my body to my feet. Following this, I stepped out of the shower into the room and praise music was coming from the tv. A voice asked me, "So what is the perfect response to the oil of joy?" I didn't even have to think to answer, "Dance!" I started dancing in that room.
Now, if I could really do this in a worship service at school, I would. Once a keyboard player is raised up, I would be able to. For now, I'll dance in my heart and spirit. I heard someone say this, your level of willingness to dance is a reflection of how free you realize you are. I'm free!
52 Days, Timing IS Everything
Nehemiah 6:15 So the wall was finished on the twenty-fifth day of Elul, in fifty-two days.
I was having a hard time deciding when we should move into our permanent location - The Band Room in Galle Johnson. I wanted to remain I made the decision to not delay our move when in my daily reading my eyes fell on the verse in Nehemiah. I jumped out of bed and ran to a calendar. I started counting the days from August 20, when my student leader and I began to draw up initial plans for an interest meeting. I realized October 11 was the 52nd day, so whatever happens we will do it.
We have the mics and stands, projector, keyboard, guitar amps, computer and all the licenses we need. We have a case of bibles. We now have a drama team who has been rehearsing and will be performing their first skit soon - Lifehouse Everything. There will be some loose ends to tie up here and there but we are on the move.
I realized today that we have been established on campus as an organization in God's timing and in His favor. Another Christian organization tried to be official on campus and theirs was rejected. Again, if we even hesitated for one day, we would have MISSED everything. (Before you think I'm against them, I have been involved with that organization before and most of my AL friends are active members currently. I am also good friends with several campus ministers serving in that organization.) There can never be enough ministries because there are so many people. Giving a salvation call is easy but the follow up is the long road. Discipling others cannot take place in a large group setting. It takes many hours of time and much energy to make disciples.
I was having a hard time deciding when we should move into our permanent location - The Band Room in Galle Johnson. I wanted to remain I made the decision to not delay our move when in my daily reading my eyes fell on the verse in Nehemiah. I jumped out of bed and ran to a calendar. I started counting the days from August 20, when my student leader and I began to draw up initial plans for an interest meeting. I realized October 11 was the 52nd day, so whatever happens we will do it.
We have the mics and stands, projector, keyboard, guitar amps, computer and all the licenses we need. We have a case of bibles. We now have a drama team who has been rehearsing and will be performing their first skit soon - Lifehouse Everything. There will be some loose ends to tie up here and there but we are on the move.
I realized today that we have been established on campus as an organization in God's timing and in His favor. Another Christian organization tried to be official on campus and theirs was rejected. Again, if we even hesitated for one day, we would have MISSED everything. (Before you think I'm against them, I have been involved with that organization before and most of my AL friends are active members currently. I am also good friends with several campus ministers serving in that organization.) There can never be enough ministries because there are so many people. Giving a salvation call is easy but the follow up is the long road. Discipling others cannot take place in a large group setting. It takes many hours of time and much energy to make disciples.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
All systems GO!
We had our approval long before Sept 20 but none of us knew it. So we are official as Cowley Christian Fellowship.
Now we are moving forward with all our plans. We will purchase a CCLI license for us. We will form our drama and worship teams. :) We are moving forward to possess the land that God has already given us.
Now we are moving forward with all our plans. We will purchase a CCLI license for us. We will form our drama and worship teams. :) We are moving forward to possess the land that God has already given us.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
The table is set
I had two text messages from my student ministers this evening after the storms passed Cowley County. They bring a word of knowledge and a word of encouragement.
"God is going to do big things on this campus. Like the thunderstorm, it is going to come fast when nobody is waiting. It will happen everywhere on campus."
"God is going to move over Cowley College like a storm and God is going to move on this campus. It is going to happen very fast and unexpectedly."
Praise God for ministers and praise God for intercessors! He has perfect timing and He will not put His servants to shame. I've been praying through Psalm 31. When it rains, it pours in my life. Take it either way, in the bad or in the blessing, it pours in my life. Holy Spirit, send Your rain, let your anointing pour. We are thirsty! Soak us!
PS. The case of bibles for CCF arrived today. Perfect!
"God is going to do big things on this campus. Like the thunderstorm, it is going to come fast when nobody is waiting. It will happen everywhere on campus."
"God is going to move over Cowley College like a storm and God is going to move on this campus. It is going to happen very fast and unexpectedly."
Praise God for ministers and praise God for intercessors! He has perfect timing and He will not put His servants to shame. I've been praying through Psalm 31. When it rains, it pours in my life. Take it either way, in the bad or in the blessing, it pours in my life. Holy Spirit, send Your rain, let your anointing pour. We are thirsty! Soak us!
PS. The case of bibles for CCF arrived today. Perfect!
Battles - 2
Monday - I had to stir myself up to go to work with a very sore throat and the start of a cold. It was a good, productive workday. At CCF, we had a dozen students again and it was good to see the new Keynotes. It brings back fond memories of my learning and growing experience at Southwestern. I'm glad it was a mostly worship music service, because it was what I needed. Who knew that it would come full circle? Keynotes is also inspiring CCF students to do something similar.
Tuesday - The cold gets worse but I'm in a much better mood. It was group brainstorm day in Aural Skills so I was in and out of the classroom, mainly cos I had to keep getting medicine. Silly me left my door open and I didn't realize that my billfold was stolen. I was surprised that I didn't fall to pieces when I got home and couldn't find it. All my cards and cash were in there, including the money my piano student paid me. The thief left my iPod Touch! The eyes of the thief was blinded to the things of true value. God was still protecting my heart. I just had to spend some time canceling accounts and cards, and getting my driver's license replaced. It's okay... I know who stole it and I know the thief will have to repay seven times.
I listened to Joyce Meyer and Joseph Prince back to back after dinner. Joyce talked about not letting thoughts overtake our minds and to keep our minds focused on Christ. Good advice for what had just happened! Following that, Joseph Prince continued the series on the role of the High Priest. He spoke about the anointing oil and how it is poured on the head of the priest. The oil runs down the head to the beard and then to the garments of the priest. This is symbolic of God's anointing being poured out on His leaders (pastors, elders) and then it is through them that the people are ministered to. The blessings of a ministry are proportionate to the anointing of the leader. You want miracles? Look at what is happening in your leader's life. That is also why the enemy attacks the leader first, to stop the anointing from getting to the people. It is a STRONG reminder for me.
Wednesday, I make the decision to cancel my classes for the weekend. The kids are not in the mood to study with the bluegrass festival happening 10 miles north. I'm not feeling well either and I do have a full festival ticket to bluegrass. I might as well just cut myself a break. What a stormy day!
Tuesday - The cold gets worse but I'm in a much better mood. It was group brainstorm day in Aural Skills so I was in and out of the classroom, mainly cos I had to keep getting medicine. Silly me left my door open and I didn't realize that my billfold was stolen. I was surprised that I didn't fall to pieces when I got home and couldn't find it. All my cards and cash were in there, including the money my piano student paid me. The thief left my iPod Touch! The eyes of the thief was blinded to the things of true value. God was still protecting my heart. I just had to spend some time canceling accounts and cards, and getting my driver's license replaced. It's okay... I know who stole it and I know the thief will have to repay seven times.
I listened to Joyce Meyer and Joseph Prince back to back after dinner. Joyce talked about not letting thoughts overtake our minds and to keep our minds focused on Christ. Good advice for what had just happened! Following that, Joseph Prince continued the series on the role of the High Priest. He spoke about the anointing oil and how it is poured on the head of the priest. The oil runs down the head to the beard and then to the garments of the priest. This is symbolic of God's anointing being poured out on His leaders (pastors, elders) and then it is through them that the people are ministered to. The blessings of a ministry are proportionate to the anointing of the leader. You want miracles? Look at what is happening in your leader's life. That is also why the enemy attacks the leader first, to stop the anointing from getting to the people. It is a STRONG reminder for me.
Wednesday, I make the decision to cancel my classes for the weekend. The kids are not in the mood to study with the bluegrass festival happening 10 miles north. I'm not feeling well either and I do have a full festival ticket to bluegrass. I might as well just cut myself a break. What a stormy day!
Battles
"You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows."
I have entered the season of battles, willingly or unwillingly, knowingly or unknowingly.
Sunday - This was quite a strange day. I had a dream, very clearly from the Lord. I dreamed I was at Pathways and we were in groups praying. As I was praying, I heard this verse "I have anointed you to preach the good news, to free the captives. I have anointed you" over and over again. I looked at my friend who was sitting next to me and she said I needed to tell the leaders of the group. I didn't want to, I was afraid to but she was already dragging me to the front and I heard the same voice "There is NO time!" I teared up when I heard this and knew I had to.
By the time we got up to the front, the leader had already dismissed the group but he said we had the mic and we could do anything we wanted. People were leaving, talking and going to the restroom, etc. Suddenly, someone from the back said loudly, "The people who want to stay can stay. This is the Holy Spirit's time and he is welcomed to do whatever he pleases."
I motioned to some musicians and they start playing, people started singing. Before I could give the verse, I saw a line of people form behind the mic. Someone started telling of what the Holy Spirit was telling her. Before she could even get much out, more people started saying, "I want to say something too ..." "The Holy Spirit told me ... " "God is doing ..." When I saw this, I was very moved and shocked. God had already moved in so many people.
I woke up at this point. I heard clearly "I have anointed you to preach the good news. I HAVE ANOINTED YOU!" I couldn't move for a minute or so and just lay there. I shouldn't delay or hesitate any longer.
It's been a long time since I've cried for hours but it needed to happen. There are many things that happen that are irritants, but minor irritants can turn into severe blisters. Lots of things happened during the summer that have turned into blisters which all needed to be lanced. I identified another area that I haven't died to self yet: I haven't crucified self-condemnation. I have not ceased to be my own judge so I am holding myself captive.
God knew a few days beforehand that I wouldn't be in any shape to preach on Monday. He provided. On Friday morning, I received a call from Martin asking if Keynotes could come play. Cowley is deserted on Friday evenings so I said it would be better if they came during CCF on Monday. Sure enough they could. What a blessing!
I have entered the season of battles, willingly or unwillingly, knowingly or unknowingly.
Sunday - This was quite a strange day. I had a dream, very clearly from the Lord. I dreamed I was at Pathways and we were in groups praying. As I was praying, I heard this verse "I have anointed you to preach the good news, to free the captives. I have anointed you" over and over again. I looked at my friend who was sitting next to me and she said I needed to tell the leaders of the group. I didn't want to, I was afraid to but she was already dragging me to the front and I heard the same voice "There is NO time!" I teared up when I heard this and knew I had to.
By the time we got up to the front, the leader had already dismissed the group but he said we had the mic and we could do anything we wanted. People were leaving, talking and going to the restroom, etc. Suddenly, someone from the back said loudly, "The people who want to stay can stay. This is the Holy Spirit's time and he is welcomed to do whatever he pleases."
I motioned to some musicians and they start playing, people started singing. Before I could give the verse, I saw a line of people form behind the mic. Someone started telling of what the Holy Spirit was telling her. Before she could even get much out, more people started saying, "I want to say something too ..." "The Holy Spirit told me ... " "God is doing ..." When I saw this, I was very moved and shocked. God had already moved in so many people.
I woke up at this point. I heard clearly "I have anointed you to preach the good news. I HAVE ANOINTED YOU!" I couldn't move for a minute or so and just lay there. I shouldn't delay or hesitate any longer.
It's been a long time since I've cried for hours but it needed to happen. There are many things that happen that are irritants, but minor irritants can turn into severe blisters. Lots of things happened during the summer that have turned into blisters which all needed to be lanced. I identified another area that I haven't died to self yet: I haven't crucified self-condemnation. I have not ceased to be my own judge so I am holding myself captive.
God knew a few days beforehand that I wouldn't be in any shape to preach on Monday. He provided. On Friday morning, I received a call from Martin asking if Keynotes could come play. Cowley is deserted on Friday evenings so I said it would be better if they came during CCF on Monday. Sure enough they could. What a blessing!
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Moving Forward
Someone asked me yesterday how I am dealing with so much disappointment on all fronts and not be just crushed. There is only one answer, you just have to keep moving and leave it be. God is not the one responsible for the disappointments. He is not the one ill-treating me.
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