It would be my first time in the auditorium that I've watched on tv for months. I had been following the IHOP-Awakening services on tv and have been very blessed from the teaching and testimonies there. I didn't know that you had to get there very early to get a seat in there. It was pretty full by the time we got there and it was a little difficult to find a seat. I believe the Lord placed me where He wanted me to be that evening.
I didn't feel the need to go forward for prayer because I believe that the Lord had delivered me from my affliction the night before. I just need to believe in faith that it is done. As I was standing and praying in worship, I get a tap on my shoulder from a young lady. She said she felt the Lord was telling her to tell me a verse and some words. She had her bible open to Matthew 13:8 - "But others fell on good ground and yielded a crop: some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty." She said the Lord also wanted her to tell me that I am good ground and I am a good seed. She said, "I don't know who you are, where you are in your walk and how long you have been a Christian but the Lord says someone planted good seed in you and you are good ground. That seed is growing because you are good ground." So she said she felt that she was also to pray for me and we prayed together.
After the prayer, I asked to read the verse myself again and my eyes fell on Matthew 13:9 - "He who has ears to hear, let him hear!" As soon I read that, I pointed at it and said, "This verse is truly for me." And she said, "I was about to tell you that." Whoa, Lord. My mind is blown. I don't know how to process this. I questioned the second prophetic minister but now it is truly been confirmed.
Several other people prayed for me as I admitted to battling afflictions for a long time. Then there was a call for those who were struggling with fear to raise their hands. I did. I have been going to work with fear everyday since August. I was in great fear that I would lose my job or that things at work would become unbearable.
The Lord had a lot to say in this matter and two young ladies came to pray for me. Wow, what prophetic prayers they were praying. They were expressing the thoughts in my heart that I was not brave enough to pray out loud for.
After they finished praying, one of them told me she heard the Lord speaking to her clearly, "I hear this repeatedly - "I am Your husband. I am Your husband." The Lord is saying that over and over again. As my husband, it is His duty and delight to defend you and protect you. He will provide for you. The Lord says He has heard your prayers, and pleading and He sees the cry of your heart. He will answer all your prayers and all the things you have pleaded for. He will fulfill them for you. He will take you to new heights and do new things for you. I see a boldness in you to preach the gospel. You need confidence, not a confidence in yourself but a confidence in the Lord, secure in His love."
"The Lord says you have ears and you do hear Him."
WOW. Okay Lord, if you say one more thing, I'm going to blow up because my capacity fuse has just been blown. Can I really take anymore of this love? I had no way of processing all this. There are no words to describe what I felt or was thinking. Indescribable, incomprehensible, all-consuming God. Everything I heard from random strangers today all pointed me back to Him.
God truly loves ME. I've known it in my head but today I know it in my heart. I sleep well this night and wonder what more could happen the next day.
Friday, November 5, 2010
My Weekend at IHOP-KC (Day 2 - Daytime)
When the love of God chases you down, there is no other response but to cry. I didn't bother to put any makeup on on Friday because I knew the deep wounds of my heart were exposed and things were raw and sensitive. It would not take much to cry this day. You're taught to expect to hear from God and expect things from Him when you go on a retreat. God was more than prepared for me as well. He knew why I was there and it was Him that was drawing me unto Himself. There was one thing that I accidentally left at home - my watch, but I'm glad because the Lord planned everything then.
Today is the official start of my weekend with IHOP. I went and registered, got my wrist band and went to the first session. The speaker was Eddie and he would speak on the basis for day and night prayer. The opening of the session was enough to answer some of my pressing questions. He asked for anyone who is in a leadership role to identify themselves. I did. He mentioned a scenario that shouldn't be happening during our conversations with God. As leaders, we represent God on earth. We are His mouthpiece, His hands and we act as one.
"What if God was like this: "Did you think I wanted you to preach that? Use that bible verse? Did you think I wanted to heal that person? Did I want you to pray? etc." It would be a terrible way to live." Yes, that's how I thought about God.
"On the other hand, what if your conversation is like this: "God, did you want me to preach that? Should I have used that bible verse? Should I have laid hands and prayed for that person? Did you want to heal that person?" It would also be pretty terrible to live this way." WOW. This has how my prayer life has been and these hit home quickly. I started crying again cos those were such lies because God does not question me like that and He has entrusted me with His word.
The rest of the session I remained pretty much introverted and I was not very social that day. There was a lot on my heart and mind. I had to grab a hold of the truth, if not, I'd burn out in the ministry. After lunch, there was another session and it would be followed by our scheduled time in the prophecy rooms.
Usually, I would be very open to hearing prophetic words but with so much on my heart and mind, and also thinking that I had been making so many mistakes, I was feeling like a bad student about to receive a report card. We were ministered to in groups of three by two people. I had the prophetic words recorded this time because I knew I would need to hear it again for it to sink in. There was a chance I'd be too teary to listen carefully.
The first person gave me Psalm 63:3 "Thy lovingkindness is better than life." She said she saw that I was painting bright colors - red for the fire of God, green for the life of God and blue for the Spirit of Truth. She said I was also dancing and the Lord said He was going to give me a new dance. I will leap like a gazelle on mountains like in the Song of Songs. I will leap to new heights. She also said the Lord said I was a good servant and He is pleased, very pleased with all the things I have done. He sees and He says it's a job well-done, I have done well in the workforce. He is very pleased with me. Needless to say, the tears just start flowing. I can't stop them.
The second person gave me another verse that I don't remember now. She said the Lord said I'm in a season where He is dealing with a lot of heart issues with me. He is preparing me for the next level and is preparing me to be His bride. The Lord said I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, taking up my cross every day and dying to self. He said I'm like a seed which had to be put in the ground, broken so that something new will come out. She said she saw a flower coming out from the ground. This second one was a little hard to believe. I asked the Lord for confirmation on this one.
I've been cornered three times at it's only 4 pm. There will be more to come that evening during the healing service. I'm glad I recorded the words because I needed to hear them again later that evening.
Today is the official start of my weekend with IHOP. I went and registered, got my wrist band and went to the first session. The speaker was Eddie and he would speak on the basis for day and night prayer. The opening of the session was enough to answer some of my pressing questions. He asked for anyone who is in a leadership role to identify themselves. I did. He mentioned a scenario that shouldn't be happening during our conversations with God. As leaders, we represent God on earth. We are His mouthpiece, His hands and we act as one.
"What if God was like this: "Did you think I wanted you to preach that? Use that bible verse? Did you think I wanted to heal that person? Did I want you to pray? etc." It would be a terrible way to live." Yes, that's how I thought about God.
"On the other hand, what if your conversation is like this: "God, did you want me to preach that? Should I have used that bible verse? Should I have laid hands and prayed for that person? Did you want to heal that person?" It would also be pretty terrible to live this way." WOW. This has how my prayer life has been and these hit home quickly. I started crying again cos those were such lies because God does not question me like that and He has entrusted me with His word.
The rest of the session I remained pretty much introverted and I was not very social that day. There was a lot on my heart and mind. I had to grab a hold of the truth, if not, I'd burn out in the ministry. After lunch, there was another session and it would be followed by our scheduled time in the prophecy rooms.
Usually, I would be very open to hearing prophetic words but with so much on my heart and mind, and also thinking that I had been making so many mistakes, I was feeling like a bad student about to receive a report card. We were ministered to in groups of three by two people. I had the prophetic words recorded this time because I knew I would need to hear it again for it to sink in. There was a chance I'd be too teary to listen carefully.
The first person gave me Psalm 63:3 "Thy lovingkindness is better than life." She said she saw that I was painting bright colors - red for the fire of God, green for the life of God and blue for the Spirit of Truth. She said I was also dancing and the Lord said He was going to give me a new dance. I will leap like a gazelle on mountains like in the Song of Songs. I will leap to new heights. She also said the Lord said I was a good servant and He is pleased, very pleased with all the things I have done. He sees and He says it's a job well-done, I have done well in the workforce. He is very pleased with me. Needless to say, the tears just start flowing. I can't stop them.
The second person gave me another verse that I don't remember now. She said the Lord said I'm in a season where He is dealing with a lot of heart issues with me. He is preparing me for the next level and is preparing me to be His bride. The Lord said I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, taking up my cross every day and dying to self. He said I'm like a seed which had to be put in the ground, broken so that something new will come out. She said she saw a flower coming out from the ground. This second one was a little hard to believe. I asked the Lord for confirmation on this one.
I've been cornered three times at it's only 4 pm. There will be more to come that evening during the healing service. I'm glad I recorded the words because I needed to hear them again later that evening.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
My experience at IHOP-KC (Day 1)
I signed up for a weekend at the International House of Prayer - Kansas City so that I could spend my fall break with the Lord. I made this decision in mid-September before the bluegrass festival, making myself hang on until late October so I could be recharged. I also happened to find inexpensive accommodation for the weekend at a bed and breakfast for only $30 a night. The Lord planned the whole weekend out! He even prepared me through my own sermons for all of it.
I packed really light for this trip and took only the essentials knowing I'd rather spend time with the Lord and people. I stopped by in Baldwin City to see my college roommate and had a quick dinner with her before heading to the bed & breakfast. I arrived at around 8:00 pm. There was another guest in the B&B, Stephanie.
We started chatting and getting to know each other, and she felt that we should start praying. It didn't take a long time for the Holy Spirit to start taking care of things for me. When she started praying for me, things began to be revealed. I never mentioned how big my struggle was with depression. She saw that it was very deep, dark depression and suicidal thoughts were there too. We reached a block and something wouldn't break. That was just a symptom of a greater problem - perfectionism, which in itself was a symptom of the root cause. When the root cause was revealed, the floodgates wouldn't be held back any longer. There were things that happened in the past which caused me to be so trapped. Needless to say, there was a lot of crying that evening. The host of B&B, Bonnie also came and joined us in prayer. She asked me to envision Jesus being with me during those times when I really felt abandoned.
I remembered the Lord asking me whether I needed a hug from Him to make me feel better. I definitely needed lots of hugs and rocking that evening. I was very glad for the prayers and for the huge weight to be lifted away from my body. It was time to deal with the issues that keep me bound. After that, we went to the Prayer Room and spent a little time soaking in the presence of the Lord. It had been a long time since I felt His love and comfort.
I had a fitful night sleeping as I knew a huge battle was being fought for my freedom. The process of emotional healing is very painful itself and very exhausting to the physical body. I did wake up in time for my actual registered weekend at IHOP to begin.
I packed really light for this trip and took only the essentials knowing I'd rather spend time with the Lord and people. I stopped by in Baldwin City to see my college roommate and had a quick dinner with her before heading to the bed & breakfast. I arrived at around 8:00 pm. There was another guest in the B&B, Stephanie.
We started chatting and getting to know each other, and she felt that we should start praying. It didn't take a long time for the Holy Spirit to start taking care of things for me. When she started praying for me, things began to be revealed. I never mentioned how big my struggle was with depression. She saw that it was very deep, dark depression and suicidal thoughts were there too. We reached a block and something wouldn't break. That was just a symptom of a greater problem - perfectionism, which in itself was a symptom of the root cause. When the root cause was revealed, the floodgates wouldn't be held back any longer. There were things that happened in the past which caused me to be so trapped. Needless to say, there was a lot of crying that evening. The host of B&B, Bonnie also came and joined us in prayer. She asked me to envision Jesus being with me during those times when I really felt abandoned.
I remembered the Lord asking me whether I needed a hug from Him to make me feel better. I definitely needed lots of hugs and rocking that evening. I was very glad for the prayers and for the huge weight to be lifted away from my body. It was time to deal with the issues that keep me bound. After that, we went to the Prayer Room and spent a little time soaking in the presence of the Lord. It had been a long time since I felt His love and comfort.
I had a fitful night sleeping as I knew a huge battle was being fought for my freedom. The process of emotional healing is very painful itself and very exhausting to the physical body. I did wake up in time for my actual registered weekend at IHOP to begin.
CCF - Oct 25 Sermon for me
The next morning it seemed that everything I had preached at First Christian Church I couldn't do. I was so angry on Monday morning and everything upset me for no apparent reason that I could understand. I asked the Lord, "Why am I so angry? What is making me so upset?"
At noon, I heard a distinct voice asking very nicely, "Does someone need a hug from me today? I think someone feels very threatened today and feels like her territory is being constantly invaded. She doesn't realize that her job belongs to me."
Whoa, what a kind rebuke. I knew that moment that the solution to my anger was to press close to the Lord and just to let myself rest in His love. Interesting thing is that the sermon for CCF that evening was "Significant, Secure and Accepted."
Yes, again the sermon was for me. I was honest and open with the students as to what went on that morning. How the Lord really spoke to me that I was very angry and upset because I didn't know I was significant in His eyes. I wasn't secure in His love and I didn't know I was already accepted. I was trying to gain my security and acceptance from my colleagues and students, which doesn't always work. We got together in small groups to discuss what were the hardest things for us to accept from God.
For the second time, God was preparing me for the weekend ahead. He did give me a physical "hug" that evening after CCF. I got to eat dinner for free at the local Chinese restaurant and also take home the sushi from the bar. That relieved me of cooking the next day which would be busy with the choir concert. Acts of service and gifts - my love languages. Awesome!
At noon, I heard a distinct voice asking very nicely, "Does someone need a hug from me today? I think someone feels very threatened today and feels like her territory is being constantly invaded. She doesn't realize that her job belongs to me."
Whoa, what a kind rebuke. I knew that moment that the solution to my anger was to press close to the Lord and just to let myself rest in His love. Interesting thing is that the sermon for CCF that evening was "Significant, Secure and Accepted."
Yes, again the sermon was for me. I was honest and open with the students as to what went on that morning. How the Lord really spoke to me that I was very angry and upset because I didn't know I was significant in His eyes. I wasn't secure in His love and I didn't know I was already accepted. I was trying to gain my security and acceptance from my colleagues and students, which doesn't always work. We got together in small groups to discuss what were the hardest things for us to accept from God.
For the second time, God was preparing me for the weekend ahead. He did give me a physical "hug" that evening after CCF. I got to eat dinner for free at the local Chinese restaurant and also take home the sushi from the bar. That relieved me of cooking the next day which would be busy with the choir concert. Acts of service and gifts - my love languages. Awesome!
Sermon Opportunities - First Christian Church
"God will open doors for you to preach and nobody will be able to shut them."
I found out that it also means that even I cannot shut them. I want to be found faithful and obedient to the Lord but sometimes it is so discouraging that I just want to return my calling. I felt badly enough one night and was ready to quit. The next morning I received an invitation to fill the pulpit at First Christian Church Winfield for Oct 24. I couldn't have said no to them. I used to work for them and this was a great opportunity to go back to minister to them. I said yes without thinking too much about it.
I did preach that Sunday on "Dying to Self, Looking to Jesus." In my short training to preach, I noticed that all the sermons were meant for me. They were direct lessons for me and preaching them to others was secondary. I didn't know how close to home this would get.
I found out that it also means that even I cannot shut them. I want to be found faithful and obedient to the Lord but sometimes it is so discouraging that I just want to return my calling. I felt badly enough one night and was ready to quit. The next morning I received an invitation to fill the pulpit at First Christian Church Winfield for Oct 24. I couldn't have said no to them. I used to work for them and this was a great opportunity to go back to minister to them. I said yes without thinking too much about it.
I did preach that Sunday on "Dying to Self, Looking to Jesus." In my short training to preach, I noticed that all the sermons were meant for me. They were direct lessons for me and preaching them to others was secondary. I didn't know how close to home this would get.
Monday, Oct 11
CCF officially moved into the Band Room Galle Johnson 205. We had an amazing service even though we have a small group. The Drama Team performed and 5 people responded to the altar call. God is bringing us the hurting and the ones struggling. That is the ministry. The wall is completed, now the actual work begins. Praise the Lord.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
A Bride
What a journey from May! I can't even begin to imagine the roller coaster but here are the new revelations and lessons:
1. Jesus calls us to be His bride:
He calls us to an intimate relationship with Him. Without such a relationship, nothing will be birthed (yes, we know this on earth, don't we?). We all get spiritually pregnant with the fruits of the Holy Spirit. He gives us gifts for our enjoyment. I've felt that I've been in labor for CCF for months now. Only a beloved warrior will fight. It is only the love of God that sustains His bride. The love of God is displayed in many facets - giving His righteousness, justification, purification, gifts and anointings of the Holy Spirit, power & authority etc. There's so much - read your bible and you'll find out for yourself! My puny brain cannot even begin to fathom.
2. Knowing Him in His suffering:
We learn to share in His suffering. The words of the song "Knowing You Jesus (All I Once Held Dear)" are becoming more and more real to me. When I am slandered, gossiped and lied about, it is persecution for His word. When my mistakes or those of others affect me, I know He hurts because of our suffering. Studying the Song of Solomon has been more than comforting for me as I walk through this season. I don't accept that God is the author of the suffering but He is the Deliverer and He loves me so much that He will and has released everything I need to overcome. Amen!
1. Jesus calls us to be His bride:
He calls us to an intimate relationship with Him. Without such a relationship, nothing will be birthed (yes, we know this on earth, don't we?). We all get spiritually pregnant with the fruits of the Holy Spirit. He gives us gifts for our enjoyment. I've felt that I've been in labor for CCF for months now. Only a beloved warrior will fight. It is only the love of God that sustains His bride. The love of God is displayed in many facets - giving His righteousness, justification, purification, gifts and anointings of the Holy Spirit, power & authority etc. There's so much - read your bible and you'll find out for yourself! My puny brain cannot even begin to fathom.
2. Knowing Him in His suffering:
We learn to share in His suffering. The words of the song "Knowing You Jesus (All I Once Held Dear)" are becoming more and more real to me. When I am slandered, gossiped and lied about, it is persecution for His word. When my mistakes or those of others affect me, I know He hurts because of our suffering. Studying the Song of Solomon has been more than comforting for me as I walk through this season. I don't accept that God is the author of the suffering but He is the Deliverer and He loves me so much that He will and has released everything I need to overcome. Amen!
Waiting for THE Thunderstorm
At the revival services last week, I received a few more words for this season. I am waiting for a life partner. I would be lying if I said that the wait is getting easier. Moving into ministry like this alone is difficult and I've been asking God to send me helpers & ministry partners. The Lord has been sending me friends to encourage me along the way in this wait. I managed to get together with a few friends from Alabama two weekends ago and they shared this. "A woman gives birth, a man doesn't. In your case, you have to birth your ministry and it is not his job. It is your job but he will come along and be the husband - to protect and guard."
I didn't go forward for prayer to ask for a husband this round because I know it is already done but God knows the heart. Even without voicing this, Pastor Hansie Steyn called me out twice concerning this, that he was praying for a husband to come along and exhorting me to keep waiting. God uses people to speak into our lives. Before you think, "hmm I thought this is about the campus ministry," I need to tell you that I know for a fact that my marriage and ministry will go hand-in-hand. It is my battle to wait for the right partner to not jeopardize that which God has called me (and us) to do.
While praying and interceding for the campus ministry, I had three snapshots of Cowley College that I saw and sensed an urgency. I saw Cowley in the bright sunlight, with a beautiful blue sky over it - a normal day, nothing unusual. Then, the next snapshot was Cowley with storm clouds covering it until there was only some light left in the horizon. This was not a scary storm but one Kansans would love to watch. The last vision was with the storm clouds again but this time, above the clouds was the brightest light, the glory of the Lord. After seeing this, I started praying, "Lord, break, break, break those clouds! Come down, let your glory fall and rain, start raining. Send your rain, rain, rain!" Praise the Lord!
I am standing and believing in His promise that He has given me the land under my feet. I listened to "Taking Your Land" on GodTV the other night. Something struck me there - Christians need to learn to take authority. The devil doesn't fear a Christian who just knows his position, the Word etc but one who knows and is willing to act on what he knows and will take authority. I'm learning to take spiritual authority over the campus when I pray for the campus, not begging God. God already wants to send His glory and revival on campus. He wants to more than I do, or all of us on campus combined. He just needs people who are willing to command and be His voice on campus. What a humbling experience! I ask, "Why me?" but the Lord always answers, "Why not you?". To that, I have no answer other than, "You called me because of your Son!"
I didn't go forward for prayer to ask for a husband this round because I know it is already done but God knows the heart. Even without voicing this, Pastor Hansie Steyn called me out twice concerning this, that he was praying for a husband to come along and exhorting me to keep waiting. God uses people to speak into our lives. Before you think, "hmm I thought this is about the campus ministry," I need to tell you that I know for a fact that my marriage and ministry will go hand-in-hand. It is my battle to wait for the right partner to not jeopardize that which God has called me (and us) to do.
While praying and interceding for the campus ministry, I had three snapshots of Cowley College that I saw and sensed an urgency. I saw Cowley in the bright sunlight, with a beautiful blue sky over it - a normal day, nothing unusual. Then, the next snapshot was Cowley with storm clouds covering it until there was only some light left in the horizon. This was not a scary storm but one Kansans would love to watch. The last vision was with the storm clouds again but this time, above the clouds was the brightest light, the glory of the Lord. After seeing this, I started praying, "Lord, break, break, break those clouds! Come down, let your glory fall and rain, start raining. Send your rain, rain, rain!" Praise the Lord!
I am standing and believing in His promise that He has given me the land under my feet. I listened to "Taking Your Land" on GodTV the other night. Something struck me there - Christians need to learn to take authority. The devil doesn't fear a Christian who just knows his position, the Word etc but one who knows and is willing to act on what he knows and will take authority. I'm learning to take spiritual authority over the campus when I pray for the campus, not begging God. God already wants to send His glory and revival on campus. He wants to more than I do, or all of us on campus combined. He just needs people who are willing to command and be His voice on campus. What a humbling experience! I ask, "Why me?" but the Lord always answers, "Why not you?". To that, I have no answer other than, "You called me because of your Son!"
Preaching - The Oil of Joy
I thought giving sermons would be difficult, getting the timing and knowing how much to say and such. While preparing for the weekly sermons, I realized that first the message was for me. I take Wednesday night as my prep night and that gives me (and the Lord) a few days to let the message minister to me over and over. God would convict me of the lies I have believed and the truths that I was going to proclaim. I found out that deciding how much to talk about and how to teach the subject wasn't that hard after many years of lesson planning.
I have been reading both Bondage Breaker by Neil Anderson and The Pleasures of a Loving God by Mike Bickle. I want to give my students who God says He is and who He says we are. Without teaching the truth, there will never be a change. We are studying the many characteristics of God - as a Bridegroom and as a Father. I preached on the God of gladness and studied on the oil of joy.
I had a dream last week about the oil of joy. I dreamed I was taking a spa vacation. I had a long soak in a bath tub and after that, the attendant said it was time for my oil of joy treatment. Oil was poured over me from the top of my head and it ran down my body to my feet. Following this, I stepped out of the shower into the room and praise music was coming from the tv. A voice asked me, "So what is the perfect response to the oil of joy?" I didn't even have to think to answer, "Dance!" I started dancing in that room.
Now, if I could really do this in a worship service at school, I would. Once a keyboard player is raised up, I would be able to. For now, I'll dance in my heart and spirit. I heard someone say this, your level of willingness to dance is a reflection of how free you realize you are. I'm free!
I have been reading both Bondage Breaker by Neil Anderson and The Pleasures of a Loving God by Mike Bickle. I want to give my students who God says He is and who He says we are. Without teaching the truth, there will never be a change. We are studying the many characteristics of God - as a Bridegroom and as a Father. I preached on the God of gladness and studied on the oil of joy.
I had a dream last week about the oil of joy. I dreamed I was taking a spa vacation. I had a long soak in a bath tub and after that, the attendant said it was time for my oil of joy treatment. Oil was poured over me from the top of my head and it ran down my body to my feet. Following this, I stepped out of the shower into the room and praise music was coming from the tv. A voice asked me, "So what is the perfect response to the oil of joy?" I didn't even have to think to answer, "Dance!" I started dancing in that room.
Now, if I could really do this in a worship service at school, I would. Once a keyboard player is raised up, I would be able to. For now, I'll dance in my heart and spirit. I heard someone say this, your level of willingness to dance is a reflection of how free you realize you are. I'm free!
52 Days, Timing IS Everything
Nehemiah 6:15 So the wall was finished on the twenty-fifth day of Elul, in fifty-two days.
I was having a hard time deciding when we should move into our permanent location - The Band Room in Galle Johnson. I wanted to remain I made the decision to not delay our move when in my daily reading my eyes fell on the verse in Nehemiah. I jumped out of bed and ran to a calendar. I started counting the days from August 20, when my student leader and I began to draw up initial plans for an interest meeting. I realized October 11 was the 52nd day, so whatever happens we will do it.
We have the mics and stands, projector, keyboard, guitar amps, computer and all the licenses we need. We have a case of bibles. We now have a drama team who has been rehearsing and will be performing their first skit soon - Lifehouse Everything. There will be some loose ends to tie up here and there but we are on the move.
I realized today that we have been established on campus as an organization in God's timing and in His favor. Another Christian organization tried to be official on campus and theirs was rejected. Again, if we even hesitated for one day, we would have MISSED everything. (Before you think I'm against them, I have been involved with that organization before and most of my AL friends are active members currently. I am also good friends with several campus ministers serving in that organization.) There can never be enough ministries because there are so many people. Giving a salvation call is easy but the follow up is the long road. Discipling others cannot take place in a large group setting. It takes many hours of time and much energy to make disciples.
I was having a hard time deciding when we should move into our permanent location - The Band Room in Galle Johnson. I wanted to remain I made the decision to not delay our move when in my daily reading my eyes fell on the verse in Nehemiah. I jumped out of bed and ran to a calendar. I started counting the days from August 20, when my student leader and I began to draw up initial plans for an interest meeting. I realized October 11 was the 52nd day, so whatever happens we will do it.
We have the mics and stands, projector, keyboard, guitar amps, computer and all the licenses we need. We have a case of bibles. We now have a drama team who has been rehearsing and will be performing their first skit soon - Lifehouse Everything. There will be some loose ends to tie up here and there but we are on the move.
I realized today that we have been established on campus as an organization in God's timing and in His favor. Another Christian organization tried to be official on campus and theirs was rejected. Again, if we even hesitated for one day, we would have MISSED everything. (Before you think I'm against them, I have been involved with that organization before and most of my AL friends are active members currently. I am also good friends with several campus ministers serving in that organization.) There can never be enough ministries because there are so many people. Giving a salvation call is easy but the follow up is the long road. Discipling others cannot take place in a large group setting. It takes many hours of time and much energy to make disciples.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
All systems GO!
We had our approval long before Sept 20 but none of us knew it. So we are official as Cowley Christian Fellowship.
Now we are moving forward with all our plans. We will purchase a CCLI license for us. We will form our drama and worship teams. :) We are moving forward to possess the land that God has already given us.
Now we are moving forward with all our plans. We will purchase a CCLI license for us. We will form our drama and worship teams. :) We are moving forward to possess the land that God has already given us.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
The table is set
I had two text messages from my student ministers this evening after the storms passed Cowley County. They bring a word of knowledge and a word of encouragement.
"God is going to do big things on this campus. Like the thunderstorm, it is going to come fast when nobody is waiting. It will happen everywhere on campus."
"God is going to move over Cowley College like a storm and God is going to move on this campus. It is going to happen very fast and unexpectedly."
Praise God for ministers and praise God for intercessors! He has perfect timing and He will not put His servants to shame. I've been praying through Psalm 31. When it rains, it pours in my life. Take it either way, in the bad or in the blessing, it pours in my life. Holy Spirit, send Your rain, let your anointing pour. We are thirsty! Soak us!
PS. The case of bibles for CCF arrived today. Perfect!
"God is going to do big things on this campus. Like the thunderstorm, it is going to come fast when nobody is waiting. It will happen everywhere on campus."
"God is going to move over Cowley College like a storm and God is going to move on this campus. It is going to happen very fast and unexpectedly."
Praise God for ministers and praise God for intercessors! He has perfect timing and He will not put His servants to shame. I've been praying through Psalm 31. When it rains, it pours in my life. Take it either way, in the bad or in the blessing, it pours in my life. Holy Spirit, send Your rain, let your anointing pour. We are thirsty! Soak us!
PS. The case of bibles for CCF arrived today. Perfect!
Battles - 2
Monday - I had to stir myself up to go to work with a very sore throat and the start of a cold. It was a good, productive workday. At CCF, we had a dozen students again and it was good to see the new Keynotes. It brings back fond memories of my learning and growing experience at Southwestern. I'm glad it was a mostly worship music service, because it was what I needed. Who knew that it would come full circle? Keynotes is also inspiring CCF students to do something similar.
Tuesday - The cold gets worse but I'm in a much better mood. It was group brainstorm day in Aural Skills so I was in and out of the classroom, mainly cos I had to keep getting medicine. Silly me left my door open and I didn't realize that my billfold was stolen. I was surprised that I didn't fall to pieces when I got home and couldn't find it. All my cards and cash were in there, including the money my piano student paid me. The thief left my iPod Touch! The eyes of the thief was blinded to the things of true value. God was still protecting my heart. I just had to spend some time canceling accounts and cards, and getting my driver's license replaced. It's okay... I know who stole it and I know the thief will have to repay seven times.
I listened to Joyce Meyer and Joseph Prince back to back after dinner. Joyce talked about not letting thoughts overtake our minds and to keep our minds focused on Christ. Good advice for what had just happened! Following that, Joseph Prince continued the series on the role of the High Priest. He spoke about the anointing oil and how it is poured on the head of the priest. The oil runs down the head to the beard and then to the garments of the priest. This is symbolic of God's anointing being poured out on His leaders (pastors, elders) and then it is through them that the people are ministered to. The blessings of a ministry are proportionate to the anointing of the leader. You want miracles? Look at what is happening in your leader's life. That is also why the enemy attacks the leader first, to stop the anointing from getting to the people. It is a STRONG reminder for me.
Wednesday, I make the decision to cancel my classes for the weekend. The kids are not in the mood to study with the bluegrass festival happening 10 miles north. I'm not feeling well either and I do have a full festival ticket to bluegrass. I might as well just cut myself a break. What a stormy day!
Tuesday - The cold gets worse but I'm in a much better mood. It was group brainstorm day in Aural Skills so I was in and out of the classroom, mainly cos I had to keep getting medicine. Silly me left my door open and I didn't realize that my billfold was stolen. I was surprised that I didn't fall to pieces when I got home and couldn't find it. All my cards and cash were in there, including the money my piano student paid me. The thief left my iPod Touch! The eyes of the thief was blinded to the things of true value. God was still protecting my heart. I just had to spend some time canceling accounts and cards, and getting my driver's license replaced. It's okay... I know who stole it and I know the thief will have to repay seven times.
I listened to Joyce Meyer and Joseph Prince back to back after dinner. Joyce talked about not letting thoughts overtake our minds and to keep our minds focused on Christ. Good advice for what had just happened! Following that, Joseph Prince continued the series on the role of the High Priest. He spoke about the anointing oil and how it is poured on the head of the priest. The oil runs down the head to the beard and then to the garments of the priest. This is symbolic of God's anointing being poured out on His leaders (pastors, elders) and then it is through them that the people are ministered to. The blessings of a ministry are proportionate to the anointing of the leader. You want miracles? Look at what is happening in your leader's life. That is also why the enemy attacks the leader first, to stop the anointing from getting to the people. It is a STRONG reminder for me.
Wednesday, I make the decision to cancel my classes for the weekend. The kids are not in the mood to study with the bluegrass festival happening 10 miles north. I'm not feeling well either and I do have a full festival ticket to bluegrass. I might as well just cut myself a break. What a stormy day!
Battles
"You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows."
I have entered the season of battles, willingly or unwillingly, knowingly or unknowingly.
Sunday - This was quite a strange day. I had a dream, very clearly from the Lord. I dreamed I was at Pathways and we were in groups praying. As I was praying, I heard this verse "I have anointed you to preach the good news, to free the captives. I have anointed you" over and over again. I looked at my friend who was sitting next to me and she said I needed to tell the leaders of the group. I didn't want to, I was afraid to but she was already dragging me to the front and I heard the same voice "There is NO time!" I teared up when I heard this and knew I had to.
By the time we got up to the front, the leader had already dismissed the group but he said we had the mic and we could do anything we wanted. People were leaving, talking and going to the restroom, etc. Suddenly, someone from the back said loudly, "The people who want to stay can stay. This is the Holy Spirit's time and he is welcomed to do whatever he pleases."
I motioned to some musicians and they start playing, people started singing. Before I could give the verse, I saw a line of people form behind the mic. Someone started telling of what the Holy Spirit was telling her. Before she could even get much out, more people started saying, "I want to say something too ..." "The Holy Spirit told me ... " "God is doing ..." When I saw this, I was very moved and shocked. God had already moved in so many people.
I woke up at this point. I heard clearly "I have anointed you to preach the good news. I HAVE ANOINTED YOU!" I couldn't move for a minute or so and just lay there. I shouldn't delay or hesitate any longer.
It's been a long time since I've cried for hours but it needed to happen. There are many things that happen that are irritants, but minor irritants can turn into severe blisters. Lots of things happened during the summer that have turned into blisters which all needed to be lanced. I identified another area that I haven't died to self yet: I haven't crucified self-condemnation. I have not ceased to be my own judge so I am holding myself captive.
God knew a few days beforehand that I wouldn't be in any shape to preach on Monday. He provided. On Friday morning, I received a call from Martin asking if Keynotes could come play. Cowley is deserted on Friday evenings so I said it would be better if they came during CCF on Monday. Sure enough they could. What a blessing!
I have entered the season of battles, willingly or unwillingly, knowingly or unknowingly.
Sunday - This was quite a strange day. I had a dream, very clearly from the Lord. I dreamed I was at Pathways and we were in groups praying. As I was praying, I heard this verse "I have anointed you to preach the good news, to free the captives. I have anointed you" over and over again. I looked at my friend who was sitting next to me and she said I needed to tell the leaders of the group. I didn't want to, I was afraid to but she was already dragging me to the front and I heard the same voice "There is NO time!" I teared up when I heard this and knew I had to.
By the time we got up to the front, the leader had already dismissed the group but he said we had the mic and we could do anything we wanted. People were leaving, talking and going to the restroom, etc. Suddenly, someone from the back said loudly, "The people who want to stay can stay. This is the Holy Spirit's time and he is welcomed to do whatever he pleases."
I motioned to some musicians and they start playing, people started singing. Before I could give the verse, I saw a line of people form behind the mic. Someone started telling of what the Holy Spirit was telling her. Before she could even get much out, more people started saying, "I want to say something too ..." "The Holy Spirit told me ... " "God is doing ..." When I saw this, I was very moved and shocked. God had already moved in so many people.
I woke up at this point. I heard clearly "I have anointed you to preach the good news. I HAVE ANOINTED YOU!" I couldn't move for a minute or so and just lay there. I shouldn't delay or hesitate any longer.
It's been a long time since I've cried for hours but it needed to happen. There are many things that happen that are irritants, but minor irritants can turn into severe blisters. Lots of things happened during the summer that have turned into blisters which all needed to be lanced. I identified another area that I haven't died to self yet: I haven't crucified self-condemnation. I have not ceased to be my own judge so I am holding myself captive.
God knew a few days beforehand that I wouldn't be in any shape to preach on Monday. He provided. On Friday morning, I received a call from Martin asking if Keynotes could come play. Cowley is deserted on Friday evenings so I said it would be better if they came during CCF on Monday. Sure enough they could. What a blessing!
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Moving Forward
Someone asked me yesterday how I am dealing with so much disappointment on all fronts and not be just crushed. There is only one answer, you just have to keep moving and leave it be. God is not the one responsible for the disappointments. He is not the one ill-treating me.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Psalm 23: 1, A declaration
The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want. Psalm 23:1
I make a choice to believe this verse that -
I will not lack direction. I will always have His leading.
I will not lack affirmation, support and encouragement. Even if no one supports this, God is still on my side. The Holy Spirit is my Comforter.
I will not lack material and inspiration for teaching His word. The Holy Spirit is my Helper and has inspired every word in the bible.
I will not lack any money that this ministry needs. Jehovah Jireh is my provider.
I will not lack any physical thing that this ministry needs.
I will not lack personnel and helping hands for all that needs to be done.
I will not be found wanting in a battle because Jehovah Nissi is the Lord of Hosts, the Lion of Judah.
I will not be in want because I am found in Jesus. I am righteous and justified by Him. Amen!
I make a choice to believe this verse that -
I will not lack direction. I will always have His leading.
I will not lack affirmation, support and encouragement. Even if no one supports this, God is still on my side. The Holy Spirit is my Comforter.
I will not lack material and inspiration for teaching His word. The Holy Spirit is my Helper and has inspired every word in the bible.
I will not lack any money that this ministry needs. Jehovah Jireh is my provider.
I will not lack any physical thing that this ministry needs.
I will not lack personnel and helping hands for all that needs to be done.
I will not be found wanting in a battle because Jehovah Nissi is the Lord of Hosts, the Lion of Judah.
I will not be in want because I am found in Jesus. I am righteous and justified by Him. Amen!
Starting a Church
God has me in training, I know. I don't know what your opinion is but some are trained in seminary, some are not. I happen to be one of those who gets on the job training in almost every area of her life. When I was at SC, I could have had a minor in music ministry. I just needed one more class.
I have started many different organizations since grade school but starting a campus ministry is a new experience. The paperwork doesn't faze me but starting a ministry brings with it a different set of questions and issues. The blessing of starting a campus ministry here is that we already have the physical infrastructure ready - a room, music instruments and projector equipment.
Some of the issues I've had to consider are these, knowing that the ultimate answer is GOD WILL LEAD:
- Target Outreach Group?
Yes, we are called to preach the gospel to everyone but God lays on each of our hearts a burden for certain people. For now, it's the group of people who are tired of religion and a bunch of rules, but want a closer relationship with God. They need a revelation of God's love and grace, as everyone does. How do I get everyone plugged in? Small groups and what types to offer.
- Sermon Series?
There is so much I want to communicate to the students but where to begin. The biggest issue I want to tell them about is the love & grace of God, followed by their new identity in Christ. I think that whether or not I use someone's study series, God will lead me.
- Altar Call? Prayer Ministry?
I am open to having an altar call after the message, if we're led to. I'm waiting for more (peer) prayer ministers to identify themselves. I know that students will need to share their responses, questions or prayer needs.
- Fellowship Time?
College students spell LOVE as FOOD. As soon as we are registered and recognized, I will be writing to all the area churches to see if any of them would be willing to provide snacks/refreshments between 8:15 & 8:45 pm.
- Bibles?
Do we give out bibles or not? Do I purchase full-sized or compact-sized bibles? On other's advice, I purchased a case of full-sized paperback bibles to start with. We will now also need a rubber stamp to mark them as property of the fellowship. The compact bibles are really nice but perhaps that will be another month's purchase. Perhaps these compact bibles will be ones we could give away as gifts.
- Software & Licensing
I am not going to use worship music illegally and I remember some of the information from my Music in Worship class with Steve Rankin. I'm thankful that a student came up to me to say he has the software for the lyrics and bible verses. We just need to purchase the license. We will start with the smallest license since we are in the infant stage.
I have started many different organizations since grade school but starting a campus ministry is a new experience. The paperwork doesn't faze me but starting a ministry brings with it a different set of questions and issues. The blessing of starting a campus ministry here is that we already have the physical infrastructure ready - a room, music instruments and projector equipment.
Some of the issues I've had to consider are these, knowing that the ultimate answer is GOD WILL LEAD:
- Target Outreach Group?
Yes, we are called to preach the gospel to everyone but God lays on each of our hearts a burden for certain people. For now, it's the group of people who are tired of religion and a bunch of rules, but want a closer relationship with God. They need a revelation of God's love and grace, as everyone does. How do I get everyone plugged in? Small groups and what types to offer.
- Sermon Series?
There is so much I want to communicate to the students but where to begin. The biggest issue I want to tell them about is the love & grace of God, followed by their new identity in Christ. I think that whether or not I use someone's study series, God will lead me.
- Altar Call? Prayer Ministry?
I am open to having an altar call after the message, if we're led to. I'm waiting for more (peer) prayer ministers to identify themselves. I know that students will need to share their responses, questions or prayer needs.
- Fellowship Time?
College students spell LOVE as FOOD. As soon as we are registered and recognized, I will be writing to all the area churches to see if any of them would be willing to provide snacks/refreshments between 8:15 & 8:45 pm.
- Bibles?
Do we give out bibles or not? Do I purchase full-sized or compact-sized bibles? On other's advice, I purchased a case of full-sized paperback bibles to start with. We will now also need a rubber stamp to mark them as property of the fellowship. The compact bibles are really nice but perhaps that will be another month's purchase. Perhaps these compact bibles will be ones we could give away as gifts.
- Software & Licensing
I am not going to use worship music illegally and I remember some of the information from my Music in Worship class with Steve Rankin. I'm thankful that a student came up to me to say he has the software for the lyrics and bible verses. We just need to purchase the license. We will start with the smallest license since we are in the infant stage.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
CCF Approved Step 1 - SGA
We were approved by the Student Senate and our petition has been forwarded to the Board of Trustees. The board meeting will be on September 20. They are certainly welcomed to see us in action. We will meet in the choir room BC 209 until we have full approval. Thereafter, we will meet in the band room. Praise the Lord!
First Meeting - Aug 30
We found out Monday afternoon that the SGA meeting is on Sept 1. Thank God that we already have all our paperwork and 80 signatures on our petition. The meeting may have caught us by surprise but God already knew, so we are prepared. I didn't take pictures of our first meeting but here are some highlights:
Announcements:
Diane & Mark are leading a study by Chip Ingram on "Love, Sex and Lasting Relationships." Lindsay will be leading a women's bible study.
FCA at 9:00 pm and they are hosting a film on Wed Sept 1, 7 pm on the Arab World.
We are doing Puttin on the Hits, a lip-sync contest on campus.
There are volunteer opportunities with the sound/set-up team, worship team, welcome & fellowship team and the drama team.
---
Will Austin led worship. Carly did the announcements and projector. It was quite an interesting announcement time about our small group bible studies. We had a different group of students than the our initial meeting so we know there will be more coming. The teaching on Monday was entitled "Jesus the One Mediator." I hope the message reached some of the young people that night.
At the end when we called for volunteers and helpers for CCF, it was an amazing response. Almost everyone signed up to help in at least one area. This was a surprise and a blessing to me. Someone came up to me and said he used to run the projection for his church and has the software to do it. It is an urgent need for us.
I have decided to make the following purchases for our group - CCLI License, bibles and the Freedom in Christ Youth study series. There will be more needs coming up for sure.
Announcements:
Diane & Mark are leading a study by Chip Ingram on "Love, Sex and Lasting Relationships." Lindsay will be leading a women's bible study.
FCA at 9:00 pm and they are hosting a film on Wed Sept 1, 7 pm on the Arab World.
We are doing Puttin on the Hits, a lip-sync contest on campus.
There are volunteer opportunities with the sound/set-up team, worship team, welcome & fellowship team and the drama team.
---
Will Austin led worship. Carly did the announcements and projector. It was quite an interesting announcement time about our small group bible studies. We had a different group of students than the our initial meeting so we know there will be more coming. The teaching on Monday was entitled "Jesus the One Mediator." I hope the message reached some of the young people that night.
At the end when we called for volunteers and helpers for CCF, it was an amazing response. Almost everyone signed up to help in at least one area. This was a surprise and a blessing to me. Someone came up to me and said he used to run the projection for his church and has the software to do it. It is an urgent need for us.
I have decided to make the following purchases for our group - CCLI License, bibles and the Freedom in Christ Youth study series. There will be more needs coming up for sure.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Youth Ministry Links
Some of these ministries have influenced me and ministered to me. It is very encouraging to see young people hunger for the Word of God. They are seeking after meat, a relationship and not a religion. I thought I should share them here:
International House of Prayer-Kansas City
They host student Awakening services every Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Watch these live on their webstream.
The Ramp, Hamilton, AL
I met Karen Wheaton at my church in Alabama. She also spoke prophetically over me. I've never been to The RAMP but some of my friends have.
The Basement, Birmingham, AL
This ministry was birthed by a few guys in a basement and has grown to thousands.
Freedom in Christ Ministries, led by Neil Anderson
"Who I am In Christ" - learning your new identity and breaking free from bondage. His resources on ministering to the abused has helped me a lot.
Elijah House Ministries, the Sandfords
Excellent ministry for the hurting and abused. They have great resources for those wanting to learn to minister healing to the wounded.
International House of Prayer-Kansas City
They host student Awakening services every Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Watch these live on their webstream.
The Ramp, Hamilton, AL
I met Karen Wheaton at my church in Alabama. She also spoke prophetically over me. I've never been to The RAMP but some of my friends have.
The Basement, Birmingham, AL
This ministry was birthed by a few guys in a basement and has grown to thousands.
Freedom in Christ Ministries, led by Neil Anderson
"Who I am In Christ" - learning your new identity and breaking free from bondage. His resources on ministering to the abused has helped me a lot.
Elijah House Ministries, the Sandfords
Excellent ministry for the hurting and abused. They have great resources for those wanting to learn to minister healing to the wounded.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Verses for Aug 30
Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (NIV)
1 Timothy 2:5 For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus, (NKJV)
Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9not of works, lest anyone should boast. (NKJV)
God’s Love
John 3:16-17
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. (NKJV)
Romans 5:8, 10. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. (NLT)
Romans 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. 2For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. (NKJV)
Romans 10:9-10 In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. 10In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. (NKJV)
1 John 4:17 … because as He is, so are we in this world. (NKJV)
1 Timothy 2:5 For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus, (NKJV)
Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9not of works, lest anyone should boast. (NKJV)
God’s Love
John 3:16-17
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. (NKJV)
Romans 5:8, 10. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. (NLT)
Romans 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. 2For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. (NKJV)
Romans 10:9-10 In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. 10In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. (NKJV)
1 John 4:17 … because as He is, so are we in this world. (NKJV)
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Who CCF is for?
God's heart longs for you to know Him.
If you think the following, CCF is for you:
- I'm worried God is mad at me
- I've done too many bad things
- I've gone too far
- I haven't read my bible/prayed enough
- I don't go to church anymore
- I don't have a place that's safe to go to
If you have these needs in your life, CCF is for you:
- you want to know who Jesus is
- you want someone to pray with you
- you want to know who God says you are
- you want freedom, love, joy & peace
- you are hurting or lonely
- you're looking for small group bible studies
- you just want a group of people to hang out with
My answer to you is, God is NOT mad at you. He loves you. Come and discover the love and freedom that can be yours. Contrary to what you hear, God LOVES sinners. If you professed Jesus as your Savior, He will set you free from all condemnation. That is the context of my first message next week Aug 30 7pm. FCA meets at 9:00 pm so check them out too!
PS I promise no bible bashing, if not, you can hit me with a plank.
If you think the following, CCF is for you:
- I'm worried God is mad at me
- I've done too many bad things
- I've gone too far
- I haven't read my bible/prayed enough
- I don't go to church anymore
- I don't have a place that's safe to go to
If you have these needs in your life, CCF is for you:
- you want to know who Jesus is
- you want someone to pray with you
- you want to know who God says you are
- you want freedom, love, joy & peace
- you are hurting or lonely
- you're looking for small group bible studies
- you just want a group of people to hang out with
My answer to you is, God is NOT mad at you. He loves you. Come and discover the love and freedom that can be yours. Contrary to what you hear, God LOVES sinners. If you professed Jesus as your Savior, He will set you free from all condemnation. That is the context of my first message next week Aug 30 7pm. FCA meets at 9:00 pm so check them out too!
PS I promise no bible bashing, if not, you can hit me with a plank.
Tues, Aug 24
I should have jumped up and danced and sang before the Lord in my living room last night while watching the Collision Conference. There was a joy bubbling inside of me in which my flesh wasn't willing to express.
This evening I finally feel like laughing after weeks of this funk. The student leaders were not content just doing the paperwork but they went to talk to the administration. That's what I call COURAGE!
They found out we can still be registered this year pending SGA approval because of a loophole. Also, that we only need 10 signatures for the petition. If we were not approved, we obtained permission to keep meeting on campus. An email has already been sent out to students who might be interested. Hallelujah! Hallelujah and AMEN!
I told the students to go all out, invite everyone and don't leave anyone out. God was right when He convicted me when I moped that people were standing in the way of His plan. He showed me very lovingly that I was the one standing in His way.
No turning back! No turning back! - even if I want to, I can't!
This evening I finally feel like laughing after weeks of this funk. The student leaders were not content just doing the paperwork but they went to talk to the administration. That's what I call COURAGE!
They found out we can still be registered this year pending SGA approval because of a loophole. Also, that we only need 10 signatures for the petition. If we were not approved, we obtained permission to keep meeting on campus. An email has already been sent out to students who might be interested. Hallelujah! Hallelujah and AMEN!
I told the students to go all out, invite everyone and don't leave anyone out. God was right when He convicted me when I moped that people were standing in the way of His plan. He showed me very lovingly that I was the one standing in His way.
No turning back! No turning back! - even if I want to, I can't!
Monday, Aug 23
As of Monday 3:00pm, Campus Christian Fellowship (the unofficial) was talked about. We have 9 faculty and staff willing to support the group by their presence and hosting three bible studies.
Yes, we met at 7:00pm. There were 12 of us and another faculty member. It was a blessed time of worship for me and everyone there. The words from this song came to me while I was praying before the meeting.
"I have decided to follow Jesus, ... The world behind me, the cross before me, ... Though none go with me, still I will follow, ... No turning back, No turning back!"
Here it is, taking the big leap and making a big decision. I participated in the meeting but I watched the work of the Holy Spirit drawing the students to Himself. They were more excited and courageous than I was, already thinking of ways to advertise the group and preach the gospel. I told them all they had to do is tell me where to sign.
They would start a signature petition. They wanted to meet next Monday. They want to put on a skit for the lip sync contest. They want to do this, they want to do that.. wow! They WANT the group! It humbles me.
The wheels are turning and they keep turning...
Yes, we met at 7:00pm. There were 12 of us and another faculty member. It was a blessed time of worship for me and everyone there. The words from this song came to me while I was praying before the meeting.
"I have decided to follow Jesus, ... The world behind me, the cross before me, ... Though none go with me, still I will follow, ... No turning back, No turning back!"
Here it is, taking the big leap and making a big decision. I participated in the meeting but I watched the work of the Holy Spirit drawing the students to Himself. They were more excited and courageous than I was, already thinking of ways to advertise the group and preach the gospel. I told them all they had to do is tell me where to sign.
They would start a signature petition. They wanted to meet next Monday. They want to put on a skit for the lip sync contest. They want to do this, they want to do that.. wow! They WANT the group! It humbles me.
The wheels are turning and they keep turning...
Weekend of Faith Building
I prayed about what to say to the FCA sponsor. I have no intentions of offending him. I prayed that night that God would give me the words and He did. In the early hours of Saturday morning, I had a dream? vision? impression? I was writing this email and all the words came to me. I knew that was the way it was to be done. I fought this too. When I send the email, I would reach the point of no return. No turning back, no turning back!
I spoke to a few mentors in ministry that weekend and their word was to obey and proceed. If God be for you, who can be against you? It is not people that God is coming against, it is a stronghold that is going to be torn down. Unless the Lord builds the house, the laborers labor in vain. Every door I have approached has opened.
The more the task got clearer the more doubts I had. OK, no one has even taught me how to plan a sermon. Holy Spirit and I are in this together now. No books, no teachers except the bible and Him.
I sat down Sunday night and wrote the email. Someone else had to "hold my hand" via cyberspace on facebook to encourage me to hit the "send" button. I did it, had peace and went to bed. Monday would arrive soon.
I spoke to a few mentors in ministry that weekend and their word was to obey and proceed. If God be for you, who can be against you? It is not people that God is coming against, it is a stronghold that is going to be torn down. Unless the Lord builds the house, the laborers labor in vain. Every door I have approached has opened.
The more the task got clearer the more doubts I had. OK, no one has even taught me how to plan a sermon. Holy Spirit and I are in this together now. No books, no teachers except the bible and Him.
I sat down Sunday night and wrote the email. Someone else had to "hold my hand" via cyberspace on facebook to encourage me to hit the "send" button. I did it, had peace and went to bed. Monday would arrive soon.
Thursday Aug 19 - First day of classes
What an exhausting day! I had to go back in the evening for the club/activities fair because I am co-sponsoring SHADE, a multi-cultural club. After that, my student helped me take some things back to my office and I shared my heart with her. I am terrified of stepping out. There are many hurts I'm dealing with and it is difficult.
Thanks to the faith of this young lady, I received the encouragement from the Lord to take another step. To encourage = to put courage in where there is none. She suggested that we should just call a meeting and spread the word, see how many students come and see what they want. If they want it, then we will proceed. We spent a little time in prayer and songs. I slept very well that night.
On Friday morning, we met in my office and came up with a list of 40 names between the two of us. WHOA! I didn't want to hit the send button before talking to FCA. I'm not competing with them. Ministry is never a competition. There is too little being done on campus and there is so much MORE to be done. So we decided we'll go on the down low and just have a small group come together on Monday night Aug 23 at 7:00 pm.
Later on Friday afternoon, I obtained permission to use the band room. You think this would be an all-clear signal too right? No, I was still hesitating.
Thanks to the faith of this young lady, I received the encouragement from the Lord to take another step. To encourage = to put courage in where there is none. She suggested that we should just call a meeting and spread the word, see how many students come and see what they want. If they want it, then we will proceed. We spent a little time in prayer and songs. I slept very well that night.
On Friday morning, we met in my office and came up with a list of 40 names between the two of us. WHOA! I didn't want to hit the send button before talking to FCA. I'm not competing with them. Ministry is never a competition. There is too little being done on campus and there is so much MORE to be done. So we decided we'll go on the down low and just have a small group come together on Monday night Aug 23 at 7:00 pm.
Later on Friday afternoon, I obtained permission to use the band room. You think this would be an all-clear signal too right? No, I was still hesitating.
Wed, Aug 18 - Church Fair
I wanted to go to the church fair and meet the different pastors & representatives from the area churches. I hear a common theme and one that rings loudly in my ears "We would love to have a college group."
"We're thinking of starting a college group."
I did not tell them of the things I know are in store but here are some of the offers I received. How could I not proceed further with these?
"Is there anything we can do on campus for you?"
"Call us if you need anything."
"Whatever you need, we will help."
There is a great likelihood of a pre-Thanksgiving international dinner on Wednesday night. My house is too small to host it. Just think of pigging out twice or more that week except this would be all international food.
"We're thinking of starting a college group."
I did not tell them of the things I know are in store but here are some of the offers I received. How could I not proceed further with these?
"Is there anything we can do on campus for you?"
"Call us if you need anything."
"Whatever you need, we will help."
There is a great likelihood of a pre-Thanksgiving international dinner on Wednesday night. My house is too small to host it. Just think of pigging out twice or more that week except this would be all international food.
Friday the 13th, A Turning Point
It was the day of my colleague's husband's funeral. I mourned privately for them and it took every ounce of strength to attend that funeral. I ended the last academic year with a student's funeral. I really didn't want this year to start with one. I prayed for a word from God that morning.
The pastor read from John 11 about the raising of Lazarus. I had just heard a sermon on it that the message still sat with me. Then he read from Psalm 103, one of my favorites. As he read it, I couldn't help but speak it along. He preached a salvation message and I needed that assurance and encouragement that morning.
After the service, my comments to a colleague revealed my identity which I had kept quiet about for the first year. The wheels became set in motion. This led to me talking to another faculty member. I told her about the word given about Cowley and she said, "We need to pray for you. (!)" What an encouragement! With this, I also knew that God had set many things in place already. He doesn't leave details out.
The following week six of us gathered in my office to pray for the campus ministry. I was given the courage to move forward despite feeling very lonely in Ark City and battling thoughts of quitting. After this, my phone starts ringing and other people are offering to partner with us. WOW!
The pastor read from John 11 about the raising of Lazarus. I had just heard a sermon on it that the message still sat with me. Then he read from Psalm 103, one of my favorites. As he read it, I couldn't help but speak it along. He preached a salvation message and I needed that assurance and encouragement that morning.
After the service, my comments to a colleague revealed my identity which I had kept quiet about for the first year. The wheels became set in motion. This led to me talking to another faculty member. I told her about the word given about Cowley and she said, "We need to pray for you. (!)" What an encouragement! With this, I also knew that God had set many things in place already. He doesn't leave details out.
The following week six of us gathered in my office to pray for the campus ministry. I was given the courage to move forward despite feeling very lonely in Ark City and battling thoughts of quitting. After this, my phone starts ringing and other people are offering to partner with us. WOW!
Fast Forward - Summer 2010
Timeline of events:
June -
I received my H1-B US work visa approval.
July -
Returned to Beijing to see friends.
Returned to Malaysia to finish visa approval, incomplete because of glitch in system.
Obtained a multiple entry visa to China. YAY!
Family reunion with parents and all my siblings present. Visited Guangdong province to see relatives and ancestral homes.
August -
Went back to Malaysia. Got my US visa processed two days before I returned.
Arrived on Aug 11. Received word of someone's passing.
Aug 13 - Day of the funeral
June -
I received my H1-B US work visa approval.
July -
Returned to Beijing to see friends.
Returned to Malaysia to finish visa approval, incomplete because of glitch in system.
Obtained a multiple entry visa to China. YAY!
Family reunion with parents and all my siblings present. Visited Guangdong province to see relatives and ancestral homes.
August -
Went back to Malaysia. Got my US visa processed two days before I returned.
Arrived on Aug 11. Received word of someone's passing.
Aug 13 - Day of the funeral
Joshua 1 - The Plan
I wondered the next few days what I was to do. I've no formal ministry training but I've served with many different teams. There were always lessons to learn in those. Thanks Southwestern College! I learned a LOT in the outreach teams and chapel.
On the last morning we were there (Thurs, May 20), I heard a voice calling out loudly at around 7:30 am. "Hey! Hey! Hey you! Listen ... The Law shall not depart from you, Meditate on it day and night. This is the word of the Lord for you." No one else was awake in that room. I looked at the student who said it and called her. She was totally sound asleep and when she woke up, she had no recollection of anything. I knew deep down that it was for me.
We began to try to figure out where the verse came from. Someone suggested Joshua 1:11 and I read it but it wasn't the right verse so I brushed it off. My eyes fell on Joshua 1:8 and it was exactly the verse. The road map of the plan. "This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success." (NKJV)
On our way home to Ark City, my student suggested we look at Joshua 1:11 again. This verse is even more telling of our mission for Cowley College. She read it out loud this way: “Pass through the camp and command the people, saying, ‘Prepare provisions for yourselves, for within three days you will cross over this Jordan, to go in to possess the land which the LORD your God is giving you to possess.’ (NKJV)Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, three days and Cowley fell!”
The campus is the Lord's!
On the last morning we were there (Thurs, May 20), I heard a voice calling out loudly at around 7:30 am. "Hey! Hey! Hey you! Listen ... The Law shall not depart from you, Meditate on it day and night. This is the word of the Lord for you." No one else was awake in that room. I looked at the student who said it and called her. She was totally sound asleep and when she woke up, she had no recollection of anything. I knew deep down that it was for me.
We began to try to figure out where the verse came from. Someone suggested Joshua 1:11 and I read it but it wasn't the right verse so I brushed it off. My eyes fell on Joshua 1:8 and it was exactly the verse. The road map of the plan. "This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success." (NKJV)
On our way home to Ark City, my student suggested we look at Joshua 1:11 again. This verse is even more telling of our mission for Cowley College. She read it out loud this way: “Pass through the camp and command the people, saying, ‘Prepare provisions for yourselves, for within three days you will cross over this Jordan, to go in to possess the land which the LORD your God is giving you to possess.’ (NKJV)Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, three days and Cowley fell!”
The campus is the Lord's!
A Specific Task without Specifics
When God puts plans together, He does not leave out details. Ten people is a lot of people to feed and house for my budget, so I emailed the host pastor (Willie & Alicia Galvan) whether they could help us out. They so kindly offered to feed us breakfast and dinner every day. That was the confirmation I needed! What a blessing!
I expected to be at a small church but when we arrived, I felt we had known the pastors and the members for a long time. There was such a kindred spirit. I was very happy to see my students receive from the Lord what they needed and what they wanted on the first night of the revival. I didn't go forward for prayer myself but was at the altar to support my students who did.
As I turned to leave the service that night, Pastor Willie stopped me and gave me a specific word regarding Cowley College and what I was sent there to do. That was given to me in private. God said I though 8 students was a lot, and that I can't imagine how many more will come. Tough call but I am prepared to obey and carry His plan out. If I did not hear it clearly enough the first night, the second night the same words were spoken to me in public. When the voice of the Lord is so loud and clear, I know the task ahead is difficult. Hence, here starts ministry training.
I expected to be at a small church but when we arrived, I felt we had known the pastors and the members for a long time. There was such a kindred spirit. I was very happy to see my students receive from the Lord what they needed and what they wanted on the first night of the revival. I didn't go forward for prayer myself but was at the altar to support my students who did.
As I turned to leave the service that night, Pastor Willie stopped me and gave me a specific word regarding Cowley College and what I was sent there to do. That was given to me in private. God said I though 8 students was a lot, and that I can't imagine how many more will come. Tough call but I am prepared to obey and carry His plan out. If I did not hear it clearly enough the first night, the second night the same words were spoken to me in public. When the voice of the Lord is so loud and clear, I know the task ahead is difficult. Hence, here starts ministry training.
Spilling the Beans ... Planting the Seeds
I am working at Cowley College and this is my second year there. If you don't already know, I love cooking and throwing parties. I enjoy it. It isn't a chore. I invite students over especially those whom I know have no kitchen or would just need a good meal. An-An, my cat does the entertaining with chasing the laser pointer and youtube videos provide background music for lip syncing. These parties have allowed me to get to know a lot of different students, since they bring different friends each time.
I committed to eating at the cafeteria at least once a week. It didn't do good things for my weight (Yes, you think I'm skinny but in Asia, they think I'm fat. XXL clothing proves it. Ok got it out), but I got to know so many students and enjoy the silliest conversations. I have not been innocent either, causing at least two students to duck under the table from sheer embarrassment. :)
I asked about the campus ministry but I never really got involved with it. Little did I know, I was already planting the seeds and didn't realize it. I visited FCA on campus towards the end of the academic year and just became burdened with the needs that were present. There remains a need for the Word of God to be taught and preached to the students. I remember when I was a college student and I thought I knew something about Jesus, but I didn't. I didn't really know Him then but we have a much better relationship now.
At the end of my first year there, I took 7 students and some of their family members to a revival down in Midwest City, OK. There were many things shared to me that I knew needed more prayer ministry than I felt comfortable. I wanted to see Hansie Steyn and his family again, just to say hi. I wasn't seeking to be ministered to myself but God had more in store for me than I imagined.
I committed to eating at the cafeteria at least once a week. It didn't do good things for my weight (Yes, you think I'm skinny but in Asia, they think I'm fat. XXL clothing proves it. Ok got it out), but I got to know so many students and enjoy the silliest conversations. I have not been innocent either, causing at least two students to duck under the table from sheer embarrassment. :)
I asked about the campus ministry but I never really got involved with it. Little did I know, I was already planting the seeds and didn't realize it. I visited FCA on campus towards the end of the academic year and just became burdened with the needs that were present. There remains a need for the Word of God to be taught and preached to the students. I remember when I was a college student and I thought I knew something about Jesus, but I didn't. I didn't really know Him then but we have a much better relationship now.
At the end of my first year there, I took 7 students and some of their family members to a revival down in Midwest City, OK. There were many things shared to me that I knew needed more prayer ministry than I felt comfortable. I wanted to see Hansie Steyn and his family again, just to say hi. I wasn't seeking to be ministered to myself but God had more in store for me than I imagined.
The call
I returned from my 6 months away from the USA in January 2009. It would be a hectic year which explains why my other blog was so quiet. On my 29th birthday, God began pestering me about something and after 3 long days of arguing with Him, I gave in and said yes.
A couple weeks after that, a visiting preacher came to my church. Ever since I made the decision to obey God with what He wanted from me, I battled nightmares every night. I went forward for prayer and was expecting a prayer, not a commission.
It was that night that I received a big piece of the puzzle which put many things into perspective. I am not releasing all the details of the prophetic words spoken to me that evening. To say the least, my eyes became VERY big and I was speechless. There was no hint this was coming. I was also relieved to find out that I will not always be a piano professor. With this prophecy, I was encouraged and given the determination to finish my doctorate asap, no matter what it took.
A couple weeks after that, a visiting preacher came to my church. Ever since I made the decision to obey God with what He wanted from me, I battled nightmares every night. I went forward for prayer and was expecting a prayer, not a commission.
It was that night that I received a big piece of the puzzle which put many things into perspective. I am not releasing all the details of the prophetic words spoken to me that evening. To say the least, my eyes became VERY big and I was speechless. There was no hint this was coming. I was also relieved to find out that I will not always be a piano professor. With this prophecy, I was encouraged and given the determination to finish my doctorate asap, no matter what it took.
The beginning
With a new blog, there comes many decisions of what to share and what not to share here. I wonder should I post my testimony but I have so many. Where does one begin and where does one stop?
I created this blog mainly for friends who are following my growth and my walk with the Lord that has led me into ministry. There are those of us who didn't "choose" to be doing "ministry" but who obey His commandment to preach the gospel and make disciples of all men.
Let's put it this way: I stumbled on my ministry calling. You read in my profile that I never went to seminary. My first "sermon" was on the spot, unexpected and unplanned. I also had to give it in a language I wasn't fluent in - Cantonese. I preached at a church in Shiqi, Guangdong to a group of pianists who had gathered for a masterclass. I remember what I preached from - Psalm 33:1-3. We play because He loved us and He accepts our playing no matter how many mistakes and no matter how many criticisms we receive. There is no condemnation for us. We are in the forefront of the battle so we must remember our role in warfare. This was in June 2008.
I went to Beijing in the fall of 2008 and many things happened there too. Two events made a big impact on me. Firstly, I stumbled upon a house church there. I will not give details here. It has led me to join a house church here in the USA too. Secondly, my classmate gave me a book on being a missionary in Asia as a farewell present. It was my only wrapped Christmas present that year (I had many other gifts - time with my family and close friends). I read it and wondered why that book was given to me. I could understand the missionaries' struggles of language, culture and climate very well - and thought, I don't have those problems. You must be thinking, just you wait.
I created this blog mainly for friends who are following my growth and my walk with the Lord that has led me into ministry. There are those of us who didn't "choose" to be doing "ministry" but who obey His commandment to preach the gospel and make disciples of all men.
Let's put it this way: I stumbled on my ministry calling. You read in my profile that I never went to seminary. My first "sermon" was on the spot, unexpected and unplanned. I also had to give it in a language I wasn't fluent in - Cantonese. I preached at a church in Shiqi, Guangdong to a group of pianists who had gathered for a masterclass. I remember what I preached from - Psalm 33:1-3. We play because He loved us and He accepts our playing no matter how many mistakes and no matter how many criticisms we receive. There is no condemnation for us. We are in the forefront of the battle so we must remember our role in warfare. This was in June 2008.
I went to Beijing in the fall of 2008 and many things happened there too. Two events made a big impact on me. Firstly, I stumbled upon a house church there. I will not give details here. It has led me to join a house church here in the USA too. Secondly, my classmate gave me a book on being a missionary in Asia as a farewell present. It was my only wrapped Christmas present that year (I had many other gifts - time with my family and close friends). I read it and wondered why that book was given to me. I could understand the missionaries' struggles of language, culture and climate very well - and thought, I don't have those problems. You must be thinking, just you wait.
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